I kno sounds like some kids' rhymes!

You ask me to stay and u run away
You ask me to smile and u slap my face
You want me to wait while u fool around
You need me to lean but am never heard
Came running for you and u leave my hand
While I die here alone you have a ball
Am rotting in my grave with nothing else to lose
Sick and tired, I cant breathe I fall
Heart broken death though my dreams were few
You blame me today cos I gave up on you!

(Dedicated to all the guys IN my life .... how often do i have to remind myself i am not a bloody DOORMAT!)

about:blank

i dono wat to write about but my head is so empt n idle i need to do somethin b4 i run outa here like a mad bych. i wud rather be takin rest at home which is equally sick!

how can i run outa everywhere how can i reach nowhere where do i find what i want wen i dono wat it is, i look at the traffic n i wonder where is everybody goin, where do i belong what the heck is wrong with me .. m hurt from head to toe ... havent i had nuff yet? somebody get me outa this ... m sittin here countin minutes .. i ve been doi this for last 1 yr.. nothin has changed except place and time... so its just me where ever i am .. doesnt matter ... i don wanna stop writing this post cos i dono wat to do next.. but i kno slowly i ll get rid of this too.. or it ll get rid of me ... i think its begining to already aint it? ... i have to count 200 min b4 i get home n start counting again ...

i ve lost everything/everyone in my life i realize it slowly, no it hits me hard only now... m gettin blanker n blanker.. m useless and empty.. maybe i shud start believing in next birth n just give up. somebody push the button.. thats all it needs! (Fullstop)

I don need no pleasure m sansmerci WAT SAY ;)

3 in 1 Movie Review!!!!!!!!!!

Ok! Back again .. No no m not missing orkut .. m jus missing work at work .. if u kno wat i mean
Wat i been upto .. i met with an accident sittin at home totally fucked .. well nothin new .. i can c that smile on ur face .. n yea make it broader cos mine is broader than urs ,.. m so happy hurt everywhere .. after all how ll u kno my pain if i don wear it on my body .. ok ok lemme cut the crap n start my work sorry post for the day ..

i saw 3 movies in a row n m gonna write bout each of them ... its funny how it screws ur head wen u watch 3 completely diff kinda movies in a row.. one inspiring .. one depressing and one pakka masala ... yea a post like this!!

I truly from my heart recommend all of you to watch this movie ‘Dead Poets Society’, esp some ppl who I don wanna name here but sure will read my blog who deserves some inspiration (stuck in the world of just 'world' n nothin else.. m sure u din get it!). Its about art love romance and everything that your heart longs for, I could even include death if I have the passion for it .. its so inspiring to do what you want to, 'seize the moment' … to break the rules and look at the world from a different angle, I ve already written about stereotyping so don wanna repeat it here, it cost me a job, my first job and a bunch of friends, I miss everyday! Oh m deviating from the topic .. yea the movie is for every business school bred corporate world maniacs who need to c the world find peace in beauty of rain (my own build up) or just love life as it is n not make it tough and stereotyped! I dono current affairs I don follow the corporate world I don wanna make money I have my own little world my poetry kids writing love rain pain death or whatever but I am what I am you don tell me what am supposed to be …. It’s a typical ‘ we don need no education’ movie! Its inspiring plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz watch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trust me the next movie m gonna write about is the most depressing ever made or I ve seen in the history of 24 yrs of my life. If a suicidal person (worse than me I mean) watches it, it will push him/her to death. Its ‘Requiem for a Dream’ well the title sounds like the story of my life, doest it? hehe, now don go look for wat Requiem means [;)]. Yea Linkin Park sang it rite ‘In the end it doesn’t even matter’ after all you dream and all you try! I am sure most of you would be googling or searching wikipedia or imdb for the movie, its an underground movie I cudnt get it anywhere, its bout drugs addiction and yea it’s a psycho movie (wen u kno i like it), but if you c it deep nuff it’s a movie about love not just between a guy n a gal, but mother n son, husband n wife, bf gf, the dream u have in every stage of your life, the dream to be a star, to be married, to have kids/grand kids, to live with the one you love and mainly yea to make money and be famous of course! It was like a scare to me that I could be that one day, well my dreams are dead now, but I am in the path … the movie was almost my life exaggerated I could say, I don recommend you to watch it if you are really depressed, but tis a movie everyone shud watch once and throw it out the window, not to be stored in your collection! But shud watch! … or maybe not but I loved it esp the background score its called ‘summer overture’, it stays in your head for hours after the movie is over … its like a voice in ur head u wanna throw out but cant .. I downloaded it immediately… neways .. got fuked after I watched it I was insane for sometime … so if ur already fuked .. BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well the next movie you shud ve guessed by now was ‘Shivaji’! Full time entertainment masala no logic typical Rajni movie I just loved it for no reason but Rajni and Vivek ofcourse. Tried to whistle as much as I cud tho I cudnt! Anyways shreya or shriya whatever her name is looks beautiful, but cud ve shown her face a lil more and din expect a Rajni movie heroine to wear nothing but inner garments in all the songs twas like watchin a kamal movie or porn I shud say .. She cudve atleast worn a blouse for gods sake.. She looks beautiful,.. cudve made use of that .. Hello! Some respect plz! Neways .. I shud say Rajni din touch her much … Rajni is Rajni.. or so I think ..Neways who cares .. din like the music I dono AR Rehman has come down in his standards… But had nice fun as such super masala entertainment!!!!!! Must watch for all Tamilians at least cos it featured in UK top 10 Box office in first week i guess and the highest budget for any movie taken in India or something and has a lot more of records..or atleast for all the hype created... not pretty much evident in the movie tho! Watch it for Thala’s sake.. He looks 20 yrs younger .. I cant believe .. he looks like he used to in those days when he used to act with Ambika Radha kinds I guess 80s, wen I was born .. boo .. awesome .. Money is money ..can do anythin .....ahhhhhhh … Not really!!

MS Word is spittin on me with too many reds n greens m too bored to correct them, that’s what I do at work … this is my space i do what i want (inspired by Dead Poets Societ ;)) isn’t this a long post? Co'mon u have to put up with me .. its jus 11 45 n I have no work till 1 and nothing after lunch either .. I wonder if they gonna pay me at all .. heard they r hiring 2 more copy writers! Ahem for wat??????????? More blogs to read hurray!!

Y no comments on my previous post [:(] and this is the only way i keep in touch online or say with friends as such .. so visit often 'request more comments' too ...

some crap quiz try it if ur as bored as me

You Should Rule Venus

Venus is a mysterious, stormy planet - shrouded in a thick layer of clouds. You are perfect to rule Venus, because you are quite emotional and volatile yourself. Your emotions change as rapidly as the weather on Venus, and both you and the planet are incomprehensible to others. While you are not a logical thinker, you are quite empathetic. You can care for and understand others, but your emotions swirl too quickly to truly understand yourself. http://www.blogthings.com/whatplanetshouldyourulequiz/

whachamacallit?

i was thinkin of a lota things to write about .. dono which one to give priority! i can make it many posts to make my blog pop or i can jus write crap in here rite now to spend the next 30 mins sittin in office ...

Ok i choose the second option.. since i don wanna go mad! i had so much idle time u wont believe i wud go to extent of killin myself jus bcos m bored n have nothin to do! trust me on this! i wudnt mind sittin n hittin myself to pass time ... idle mind is devils workshop and in my case... i turn into the devil!

probably last 2 yrs of idleness has turned me into this creature i am today, i will tell u a secret... i had WORK! for the last 3 days tooo much work tht i cudnt handle i felt so wanted needed loved(dono y really) and i actually din have time to think about if m loved or wanted or if i have a life or what m gonna do with it etc like i usually do, i rem sittin n countin seconds in grocery stores n jewelery stores where i had nothin to do ... maybe thats wat screwed my mind slowly into emptiness .. not to blame it .. it was experience which noone had n i loved it as much as m lovin work now i would rather say ' lived my life' n m happy about it ... i kno nothin lasts forever i dono if tomo i ll feel this way or if ll have work to do or even have a job .. anyone can throw me outa anything anytime n m used to getin over things people jobs and life! yea i finished all my work at 5 n for the last 30 mins i ve been feelin bored as hell n i ve been thinkin of ways to kill myself hehe .. wat a crazy bych eh?

Anther thing wanted to write about was emotional blackmailin, well its been goin around me a lot these days. gfs blackmailin bfs, vice versa, brothers sisters, moms sons daughters, whats this thing that holds us to someone emotionally that we do something jus bcos they don hurt themselves! its too much! its like i ll do this to myself if u dont do that, n hey that person does it cos they love u obv, (otherwise emotional blackmailin def wudnt work, so love does exist eh?) anyways this been a big torture in my life ... wat do u suggest ... is it better to fall for it or just let go? (Secret: yes i am a big time emotional blackmailer but wen it comes to me or my friends ... boooooooo i dono wat to do or advice them to do) m in a real fix now i tell u! how about blackmail bak ??? yea thats wat i do ...shud i add talking about dependency here .. yes i get crazily depend on ppl .. till they get sick of me .. n i kno that or imagine that they are sick of me.. which makes me more depend on them .. its a vicious circle .. is there a way outa it? .. uff uff !! head breakin ... i don wanna think bout this nemore!

what else what else its jus 10 mins ... no m not gonna write for the next 20 mins n bug ya.. lotsa things happenin in my life i ve been away from everyone of my friends! probably this is the only way they r getiin to kno bout my life .. i dono how long its gonna last, but m lovin this loneliness, mayb its for good or bad , m jus goin with it , maybe i ll regret it someday! but m jus doin watever my head says! n a lota tabs tabs tabs n hospital etc etc,. long time since i answered yeah m fine for a how r u .. neways .. who cares wen u don talk to ppl nemore! hey wait can u believe that i left orkut? i del my 15000 scraps(hearbreak) n 150 friends and 150 communities hehe .. yea but the account will b del by orkut soon i guess m trying .. nways i need comments on that friends plz .. did u ever think? i was addicted like a nut? lived on it? now u wonderin if m living? maybe i shud write a separate post on 'life without orkut' if m inspired to do so .. somehow i don miss it much! so i ve proved that i do i have a real life.. or maybe not ... watch out for that post soon .. or maybe not .. ok forget it!

Alrite! thats it for now .. hey i forgot i read God Debris by Scott Adams (Author of Dilbert) i loved it .. i 'READ' somethin after a long time i thought i lost that patience long long back ... i really recommend all of u to read it .. i actually posted it here n it was too long for a blog .. neways m done m done! no more talking i mean typing! mayb this is my first random post in my blog so wat shud i name this? shall i call it whachamacallit? i like the concept from a chocolate..ok now 15 mins more m loggin off .. i better have some work from tomo ... or .....