Thursday, June 19, 2008

I feel it in ma fingers i feel it in ma toesss

I hear complains from few readers tht my posts don provide 'food for thought' nemore mayb cos its more about food food and food i write nowdays? .. but words and food are becoming equally passionate to me these days .. and wat better when i can combine both ... i do have some thoughts which i can share… or not? i dono …i sure have lost touch with writing controversies ..

But yes i am looking for some anwers to some questions m sure there r no answers to. then wat m i lookin for? Thts wat m lookin for .. ok cuttin the crap .. lets say m thinkin about the basic essence of life, or atleast wat i think and have always believed as wat the world goes around for.. if u know me u guessed it rite.. m bak to cribbing about love and as always wondering wtf is it! So typically me but hey do u have an answer?

So many things happening around me, weddings, heartbreaks, affairs, sex... emotions being played around left and rite swinging around everywhere in the air.. hostility care indifference detachment attachment lust ... well u kno emotions don u! Now what is love? The word that’s used for every damn thing with no value attached to it nemore ...

I feel love wen i get butterflies in my tummy.. na thts just freakin i wudnt give it so much of an honor.. its probably well... hmm just butterflies? I feel love wen my mom brushes my hair sayin m the most beautiful baby shes ever seen.. isn't it too unconditional to be love.. is that wat is just love? i feel love wen m made to feel special by someone.. me call that vulnerable.. u dumb gal! I feel love when my kids come running to me even wen I c them after a year.. its overwhelming to kno they rem u after so long.. hmm so this cud b love .. but thn again how far or long is it? I feel love wen m made love to .. but then there r so many times wen u feel like a fukin machine… well quite literally … no no no dear!

But wait I truly believe or believed that love is ever thing in the world to live for.. love is god.. it’s the only form of creation I know and so can believe it to be the creator or god or whatever u wnana call it..sometimes u do feel well … hell with it .. theres no shit called love its just a freakin word to fool me .. to make me do things I ll never do otherwise.. to make me surrender.. to make me budge.. hurt me gimme pain … but then again whats wrong in that? What else is the world spinning around for?

Yes I agree tht whatever may come I will not (even wen I so badly want to) give up my basic value in life – to give love and be loved .. in whatever way possible.. Love is giving… love’s inside you its more fun wen u give it out … than getin more n more n stockin it inside.. don wonder if m a saint! Apparently sometimes I decide tht I shud be expecting no love in return .. Duh! how long u think someone can keep giving? It only accumulates to frustration and desperation … and its ugly followings .. better unmentioned...

So now actually coming to the wat I wanted to say :D this key to life.. cud it mean a lot diff to a lot of ppl? .. it so confusing! Wen I say I love u I just mean I love u … wat else can it mean? But then wat does it mean? There r ppl who value it as commitment? Mayb thts wat the Indian media has projected it to be .. man thts scary.. if something as free-willed as love can be made a commitment … its like imprisoning god in some random jail on earth! It demeaning its narrow and its sick..but thts me alrite...most ppl don agre with me wen i say motherhood is in a gal rite from birth, i think its an inborn quality, feeling and value to be a woman in the first place.. i turn furious wen i hear this common sayin 'a woman is complete wen she attains motherhood' .. of crap man .. that is so ironically stupid .. a woman is a woman only wen she has the 'mother' in her .. and it has no shit to do with 'f'ing and makin another creature plz...

Getting back to our God being imprisoned, I ve never believed in commitment or anything thts forced upon me without love .. learning from life ..i realize m not exactly rite.. u cud always love ur commitment .. or love to be committed...thts wat a marriage is all about rite? else why wud any one wana stick to one person all their life?.. being an Indian thats a basic moral ethic in our country aint it?..

hey don chek the link again … yes its me talking… don get me wrong .. there is always an ‘if’ there is love… and there is always as many ‘buts’ as in this post…

BUT then again.... wtf is this love am crapping so much bout?????????

Monday, June 02, 2008

Yellow Yellow Dirty Fellow!

I came zooming back home trying to escape the scorching sun, wiping my sweat, turning the air conditioner on and actually talking to it… ‘F***in' cool up fastttttt’ I yelled frustrated. Nobody can deny the heat that had taken over Chennai this summer, like any other year but somehow this yr has burnt me into something unrecognizable. So one more bang at the door and that was my final call for the juicy watermelon my mom was cutting for me, well it better be worth all the pain I went through to buy it. What the hell is she doing! BANG BANG I knocked my door, no way on earth am getting outa the room. Still no reaction from her! Fine I walked out not able to resist the site of juicy red watermelon and getting it in my mouth cooling my head but wat I saw shocked me! There was this juicy fleshy YELLOW watermelon! Ahhh! Now what is this? No wonder she was wondering what to do with it so long. Is there something called a Yellow Watermelon or is it some kinda hybrid with pumpkin or is it just some Very OLD watermelon! I almost don’t care; I just want to quench my thirst right now… fine let’s ask Google and Wiki I decided; the only people I trust lately!

And here is what the internet told me… so many blogs with ‘SURPRISE’ I saw a yellow watermelon posts! But nothing from India … so mine has the privilege to be the first surprise-watermelon-post in a blog from India I guess! Anyways there were some useful info sites; Wiki has a very small entry in the keyword ‘watermelon’ itself that’s all. Seems this variety is supposed to be more honey tasting and juicier… so I rushed and digged in to the scary looking yellow watermelon hoping am alive tomo, cos I still wasn’t really sure how this came to India in the first place! But I don’t think this one’s any sweeter and better than our yummy looking/tasting life-saving weight-reducing reddy reddy watermelons!

Some info I got on the net!

Some Man-am-so-surprised blogs…

The funniest thing I found after some research later is the Yellow Watermelon appreciate group! The tagline goes like … "I wish i was a yellow watermelon"! What the hell! .. hehehe

And of course some funny youtube videos too!