A collection of my work at BM

They made me do it .. i cried .. i begged.. i was shattered against my will.. they made me do it
and here it is...

those were days wen i saw no future, dreaded the word marriage and the dream it brought along.. was as lonely as anyone cud ever b..empty.. lost..heartbroken.. aching.. i did it...!

Not bad eh :P

Wise men say only fools rush in...

BUT Seriously...

A stitch in time saves nine


or


Fake it till u make it?

Push up my bra like that, Porno Paparazzi girl...

Stupid Girl!

yea u got my point! but this post aint about paris hilton or jessica simpson॥ its about our very own Tamizh (zh stressed intentionally) media and the women who are movin way up ahead showcasing their u-kno-wat to the world, since they don have any thing to showcase inside their heads! I have a BIG QUESTION (typed in caps to show BIG :P) what is considered SEXY? wats the meaning of this word? i believe that nothin can be sexy without brains or the attitude factor that can come only from intelligence.. u def cnt stay dumb n sexy! u need to b smart to b sexy..so i think! Sexy is a relative term,.. which def doenst refer to the viewing of the thick material that covers our flesh and organs.. it has a deeper meaning to it than it seems like .. m sure u ll agree..

I dont watch much Indian movies except ofcourse any Rani's movie in Hindi and any Rajni's movie in Tamil॥ I'm not very proficient in this subject hence, but then i kno enough to kno how women have been treated in here, how diff women r treated differently, how some lose respect and fade off along with the glow in their skin and some come out shining as the real stars motivating indian women using media as the rite weapon..

What's happening to the tamil movies these days? We definitely are way ahead of bollywood in makin movies with class and most of the class movies i kno in bollywood are made by brains from TN. Thinkin of it, even the real beauties of bollywood, by which i mean 'beauties' and not 'skin-shows' are from the south. We have no neccsity to compete with bollywood's cheap attempts to sell, as they say in bollywood only Sex and Shah rukh sells. I do like glamor, i drool over sexy heroines..where the character calls for nudity i agree even that aint wrong.. but wat is the need of bringing in this unneccesary soft (?) porn into movies to sell em? its kinda tough on women.. n children.. who are fed this content without a choice. I go to watch a movie of a superstar i ve been a fan of for 20 yrs and i get fed with sex content without a choice, screwin my mood and day.. n so funny they call it a family movie.. then wat do they have porn movies for these days? .... i wonder how mom's with kids near them felt while watchin this porno shit...

This m talkin bout the recent rajnikanth movie kuselan ofcourse, i cnt imagine m writing a negative review on a hero i used to like as a child n still .. but has he lost confidence on himself? in the last 2 movies hes been using young girls to show skin to sell his movie.. sorry to say but shame on u for being a superstar, talkin bout women liberation, culture, and what not..well ok i already wrote bout shivaji, n how the fair sex was used completely unwanted in it.. but that stopped with glamor.. n since everything was acceptable then it has a gone a step further... well it will go a step further until there r women who can sell themsleves for money n fame r alive..

My words from Shivaji review ...

Anyways shreya or shriya whatever her name is looks beautiful, but cud ve shown her face a lil more and din expect a Rajni movie heroine to wear nothing but inner garments in all the songs twas like watchin a kamal movie or porn I shud say ॥ She cudve atleast worn a blouse for gods sake.. She looks beautiful,.. cudve made use of that .. Hello! Some respect plz!

I am sorry but i cant tell the same adjectives about this female, whose name am thinkin twice b4 i cud enter in my blog, i don want google to list me among some porn sites and cheap filmie sites with vulgar images of this (so-called) female Nayatara. I wud say this 'DUMB BLONDE' of India is a shame on womenhood, moreso on Indian women known for their 'beauty and brains'. What is the need for such a catergory to grow in a intelligent good-looking and talented environment like ours? don let it spread plz... trust me its contagious..

I can c Pink's vision in here!

What happened to the dreams of a girl president

She's dancing in the video next to 50 cent

... well i always thought that country was dumb n the women who are known to be dumb must b even dumber to lose their dignity for fame and set bad examples for the kids who grow up fed on media and nothin else.. its no denying the fact that today media does 90 percent of the parenting.. n it has a responsibility (atleast superstars need to kno how the mass blindly follows)..if she is the 'numero uno' lady of tamil cinema as said by many newspapers and websites.. i wonder wat role women are starting to gain in media..an item girl becomes the lead..or shud i say the lead herself just an item number.. thats all the place women have here.. i've seen heroines come n go as glamour dolls in movies, its ok to flaunt wat u got! but this is the first time m seein an actor being so shameless that she has nothin to talk in the movie, she is not a PERSON in it, she is a dancing glamour doll (who btw has no expressions except attitude on her scarsely visible bland face), well a tree with some curves (and no leaves) cudve done it! Real sucess is attracting men n women n children alike .. like many beautiful sexy looking 'talented' actors have done before..but nowhere have i seen a gal meddle around with her assets on the camera for whole minutes.. after sometime it gets boring even to the drooling men since.. there is no surprise nemore.. nothing stimulating ....nothin new .. nothin mysterious

I don't blame men at all! Until u've no respect for urself... dont expect anything in return.. sadly this affects the image of woman (atleast of that region) and their values cos media is wat shows all the world who we are.. but these ppl who represent us, let us down.. showing us the rong way.. don u c ur power and responsibility dumb gal? if u think ur showin lifestyle .. well try again .. ur showin desperation ... there is something called respect.. u can earn money and fame (def in many other ways, unless u ve nothin to prove like u obv do).. u cant earn respect again.. ur a human being.. not a thing made of flesh n skin.. wake up! Oh can we plz categorize these kinda creatures as something like hmm lets say ..non-women or mayb non-human (incase if guys feel ashamed to call such ppl part of their clan too)?

Mirror on the wall, damn I sure look fine

I can't blame those horny boys, I would make me mine

When I pass you in a club, "Ooh, lala!" you gasp

Back up boy, I ain't your toy, or your piece of ass

Cuz this body is a priceless piece of lovin' unconditionally

So, Mr। Big-stuff, who you think you are?

You was thinkin' you'r gonna get it for free

Hey ladies, let 'em know it ain't easy

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Now that's flaunting, that's attitude... that's sexy!

Disclaimer: This is totally Pink's and my opinion ... n does not necessary have to b right or rong!

PS: GUYS strictly no droolin over cheap shit in my comments ॥ don't we have a class?

There's a poll on what you want me to write on .. Do Vote!

Back to Back.. n m Back

Tagged by Pointblank .. so here is one more list of unwanted info bout me .. bak to bak!

I am: Swarna?.. i kno my sense of humor sucks.. on a serious note.. i am everything that you want me to be to u with a strong urge in me to be myself at the same time..i kno that makes a lota sense.. y is that i start writing paragraphs for one word questions!

I think: Without a fraction of a second of rest, but absolutely nothing productive. (I also think i can write :D)

I know: that one day we'll be dead and gone.. n we r fiting with life for nothing today.

I want: peace of mind..other than which my heart has been trained very well to not want anything in life .. peace of mind is an exception since its illusionary & elusive.

I have: MY MOM

I wish: everybody's pain is mine and let it end with me...

I hate: used to hate liars.. now kinda used to it.. i still cant stand disrespect, hypocricy and narrowmindness

I miss: gosh! that's everything i do these days, miss my college days most, the year 2004!, the rosy days of romance, the days wen i ran my own home, most of all wen i had a life :)

I fear: the unknown.. if i kno u, u can get away with murder, if ur not open to me, insecurity n fear clouds my head

I feel: lonely unloved empty unwanted .. and some balloons in ma head ... and hands...

I hear: right now the freakin voices in my head that talk for and against him!

I smell: hostility- vacuum - death

I crave: a single loving touch

I search: for the lost child in me who had dreams and desires.. for a reason to live

I wonder: how long do i need to keep existing?

I regret: everytime i hurt my loved ones .. everytime i lose my respect n give up my ideals .. everytime i fall in love and act like a loser .. everytime .. everytime.. actually everytime ..

I love: KIDS

I ache: wen my love aint recognised or appreciated

I am not: mediocre... average... normal

I dance: at the happiest moments of my life .. cant rem doing it in last few yrs :( soemthing i ll miss for life ...

I sing: with very very few ppl i have been happy n comfy with u .. otherwise only with my bike :)

I cry: for stupid reasons like a mosquito bite wen m down but not even for life threatening incidents wen m strong ....

I don't always: listen to myself

I write: yea i write ... so wat now?

I win: m not in the race

I lose: everything

I never: trust wholeheartedly... it takes a LOT to make me trust.. but if i do .. then i DO

I always: keep searching for IT ...

I confuse: i write

I listen: to empty spaces and the echo of the emptiness .. to beautifully expressed dark poetry in songs.. lyrics that speak my life.. my mind..

I can usually be found: on the internet, if not then on the internet..if not.. mayb m nomore :O

I need: to feel needed/wanted... a reason to survive.. someone by my side.. quite literally.. someone to pamper me.. Mayb m doin the tag in a rong mood, do i sound pathetic and desperate? Uff i changed this answer 10 times in the last 5 mins.. proves i dono wat i need

I am happy about: my life being eventful n chaotic and not bland n borin ..

I imagine: u wasting ur time sitting n reading this crap ... go get a life now...

I would like to tag:
anyone who is reading this and is super bored like me .. n believes there r ppl who r even more jobless to sit n read nonsense bout them..

PS: Plz VOTE in the poll.. i ve added many widgets for engaging you while surfing my site.. wud like to know what you think of it..

The Quirky Tag

anoobhooti tagged me!

The Rules are as follows..
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs, letting them know that they have been tagged.

wow wow! Dont i just love talking bout myself and the quirky me! ..that sums up me as such being quirky.. hmm can i stop here? :D cos i really cant think of nething worth putting down here.. well now that i added my new feedjit widget and i got to know that my readers are not jus the few friends i know who leave comments, i c ppl from Trichirapalli to Jamaica :) so i better maintain my decorum and not get too personal (read shitty).. naa who gives a damn!

if u really ready for more read on..but promise me u ll save it in ur short term memory n forget it wen u leave this page

1. ahh i got a block! trust me i thought for 2 whole days about what quirky traits i got n now when m asked to write i cant, mayb thats one point to be noted, i cnt work under pressure, i will not do something wen m forced or m required to do, i cant even sleep if m forced to, i can only work/play/sleep/shit at will!

2. i try not to hurt neone. i cant confront, i smile wen m hurt badly, wen someone's unfair to me, cant say no to nething, end up being a loser. but i cant ride without cursing, and make sure i hurt ppl who really mean a lot to me for reasons that noone can comprehend including me..

3. i cannot stand self-image damage, 2 things that can make or break my relationship with u is ur opinion on my words and my looks :) i kno thats more stupid than quirky :D

4. i love bad things happening to me, note 'things that affect only me'! like say, i long to get fever, everytime i get some pain i jus hope its some life threatening disease n get toally disappointed if its not :( i love to be depressed, n it gives me so much happiness :P

5. highy impulsive in everything, tooo fast in doin my work, MULTITASKING is a must, lets say there are 12 windows open rite now.. n now actually feelin bored :( i get restless if m idle for a min .. n however busy i am .. everybody knows the only word i wud say is gosh m bored! even in food, i cant eat just one item, or the same thing twice! Well Variety is the spice of life, u kno :P

6. Oh this is kinda my weakness i cnt go in elevators cnt use public toilets cant stay alone in a closed dark room.. guess wat i ve climbed 14 floors for the fear of elevator and i don need to tell ya what i do wen m traveling :P

yay! i reached 6! Actually now i can think of a lot more .. but naa m not gonna let u kno!

Am tagging to know the quirky side of
good bad and the ugly
niya's world
BeTwEeN tHe LiNeS
Semi-Charmed Life!
Cockroach in Cocktail
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Good luck! Make ur confessions!

Forgive me spiderman, for i think otherwise!

It’s 2 years since I started this blog with today. No, I aint even gonna use an exclamation mark to that sentence cos life has taught me quite strongly this time to not get excited bout special days.. still somewhere at the corner of my stupid heart, there is a question called ‘WHY NOT?’!
But yea, no balloons, no cakes, no celebration, so wat now, there will b another yr and another anniversary, hey but there is a need for appreciation rite? After all wen even ppl cant be together for long, anything that lasts any longer deserves respect, so does this humble blog of mine, started as undefinedoxymoron.blogspot.com taken over by sansmerci.in. It’s always been there with me taking all the shit I dumped on it through my bad times and thro my happy times, taking into its identity everything that is me, and stand by it for that sake alone, I mean wat better friend/partner can u get?

Last ‘blogiversary’ as I named it had thanks to so many ppl of which some have loyally stuck with me tho the transformation of the blog has taken place obviously from a personal diary to other not-so-interesting posts. Maybe I just grew up in the process or got insecure that too much trashing mite make me lose this last friend of mine too. But sure thanks to vj, blind and B (who doesnt have a choice tho) .. n ofcourse everyone else on my blogroll and viceversa..who come on n off ..and helped me reach this number of hits!

So why this title? U always ask cos it never makes sense just like my head. The thought on my head being ‘with gr8 power comes gr8 responsibility’, came this title! Let's say, this blog being my power to create n tell the world (if I can go one step further n say) and change the world if I really make an effort to .. comes my responsibility to stay moral on it esp. not to preach anything I don practice or believe in. so I have used this medium to my best, to express my thoughts but with utmost care to keep an open mind n always end it with a but, if and ‘so i think'.

So is every creator, they have a power and the responsibility, I rem quoting spiderman in my university exam in a journalism paper and me quoting it being quoted in a PR class the next sem as a matter to be appreciated. (god knows how much I feared critisism wen I wrote it!) oh n talking of god.. and creators.. I see them synonymous.. ie creators being god (ofcourse I wud never say vice versa :P). A mother being given the power to create … has the highest responsibility in the world making the human offspring ‘a person’ and wen I say a person, I mean ‘a person!’ that’s a ‘God’s’ responsibility she has. Maybe, the only thing ‘ur’ god did good to mankind is, its impossible for a living being to not have a mother, n tiny-bit reason that cud probably wanna make me give a thought if there’s really such a well-wishing person to human kind making sure we get it all, a mother - if u want it or not, will b YOURS!

But most of us creators (in one way or other), experience the reverse of this, where life sucks with a lot of responsibility and no shit called power! For instance, our creative team has the responsibility to create advertisements that play with the minds of the customers and work on them. But what happens at most times is the team aims at satisfying the client servicing, who in turn works for the client's satisfaction who in turn works for his managers' satisfaction, who in turn looks for the CEO/MD's satisfaction. Responsibility of the creative to satisfy the ultimate customer takes the back seat since the team doesn’t have the direct decision-making power , even if they know the customer inside-out. So gr8 responsibility definitely calls for gr8 power, if its there, anything is possible, u jus need to take ur stand and stand by it! You can change the world, if ur responsibility gets the power! Maybe i think like a media person, that was my example, but m sure u have urs.

So yea ….oh shut up! So much for 2 years of blogging! u had to listen to all this random unrelated insequential thoughts of mine … but hey I rest my power n responsibility with this blog.. cos its me who delegates both to myself in here! Woo Hoo!!!! I run a place of my own n I did so for 2 whole f****** yearsssssssssssss… oh no I forgot! No overexcitement … maintain low profile…. Ahem :)!

PS: If ur wonderin y my first post is on AUG 6th '06 n m celebrating on Aug 5th every year, its the time difference. The first post actually came online at 6pm on Aug 5th '06 from Memphis, TN (from my work place). This post comes at 4 45pm on Aug 5th '08 from Chennai, TN (ofcourse from my workplace)!!

Hoping my blog and 'I' see next anniversary from who-knows-where, Yappy reading!!!