C'mon Baby Light My Fire!

Dont be shocked that m posting a blog...n m posting it with my left hand...don mind the typos n spellos (as always)!

When u reach depths, u don ve a choice but the way back up. That’s how I ve started writing again. I thought in fact decided for good that its over my flair to write or my passion for it, its reached saturation, its torn into bits… networking sites with status’ msgs, a let out of thoghts as soon as they start to accumulate, no more do we wrte letters ,. no more do I blog…email killed the letters, IM killed email..FB killed IM.. n yea lately I c buzz is killin FB too…too many thoughts..too many outlets.. its all getting a bit too much to put out a blog post.. no time to write my own diary to say in human terms…no more introspection..nothin can live without passion or depth.. my writing has lost it too.. as with my passion for life and living it…

When life gets mundane..no offence to marriage but as u get older and more settled.. there is no more ‘hunting’. I think as raw human wen we don hunt we don survive..wen theres nothing to seek nothing to look fwd to.. u die internally.. yea I got my desired partner and most desired job.. everything I ever wanted..and then the question arising is as simple as a complicated ‘ok now what???!!!’ no its not the deal and compromises tht come with the decisions I ve made tht scare me infact they make life worth fiting and living for.. after all m not someone who needs an eventless life.. always had an extra eventful life and love it wen I look bak at it.. I don like it smooth..infact i hate mediocrity in any form.. including an average life turns me off.. yes I do long for it ironically many times.. but its life and I ve learnt to take it as it comes..but when everything gets monotonous.. the passion is lost..the light is burning…but there aint no fire…m lost.. empty…unused…

To put it in my foodie terms, I wud equate it to eating the same breakfast everyday.. I wud rather b dead n gone instead.. I am not implying tht variety is the spice of life.. oh on second thghts yes I am but there is a possibility fr variety within means..well lets say u ve decided to eat egg for breakfast all ur life.. ur not gonna break ur promise but learn to eat it in a million ways and explore as well as discover a zillion ways to make it better everyday… now u know wat I mean…lota writers who don’t get a chance or din take a chance to b one professionally due to social and financial reasons envy me.. well.. wat ve I become in the end.. someone who is so absorbed by the monotony of a work that actually, in quite a literal sense, can have a lot more flavor and juice to it but I ve become a dry nut cracking slowly into an empty shell…

Love and hate are the same damn emotions, its jus how u perceive it in ur positive or negative mood..so u can only hate something as much as u love it…the strength of the emotions are usually equal...depends on ur attachment to the subject.. if I can love u this much.. I can hate as much easily...well so I decided I don give a damn if m seeing the glass as half full or half empty, m going bottoms up baby and that’s all I care!

Pushing myself to the edge.. I write … I don’t ve a choice and I will….wen every part of me feels injured physically and mentally.. I feel useless n wasted..like I belong in the trash…m makin my own recipe for a pill..yea the same old I knew..giving it another chance…no matter if I feel disabled nuff to even type… writing…m gonna be writing…left or rite or even with my legs… m gonna be writing…