Monday, November 09, 2009

PMS: Myths Busted - The Other Side of the Story

All u ladies in the house, here’s an open question to u

“How do u feel when ur really angry and pissed at something, its breaking ur heart, getting on ur nerves and u feel absolutely helpless and wanna break down, waiting on a regret or at least an explanation from him, if not a make-up act, and all u hear him say is ‘It’ll all be ok soon baby…ur just PMSing and m getting used to it’!”

This is what I have termed as the act of ‘Easy Blame Reversal Syndrome (EBRS)’!

Well yo’all know what am talking about… I can hear the guys sigh as tho it’s the biggest curse that has been brought upon them since the birth of human race…but I feel like its the biggest plot that men have come up with (they probably do have a secret sorority to come up with such stuff on a universal basis)…to fool woman into believing that she and her precious body (which otherwise is worshipped by the same men as the greatest gift to mankind) are the only reason for any pain caused to her and in fact its causing pain to him too.. tho not technically even close to what she goes thro.. his miseries are more talked about than fact the only recognized pain of hers is that which affects him, if u know what I mean! I wonder in olden days when ppl knew nothing bout how the body worked and how hormones caused mayhem…did they still go thro PMS? I don think so dude! Those times wen she went thro pain.. it was seen as mere pain..and was empathized with..not as a u-don-ve-a-choice-so-stop-whining-n-put-up-with-it pain…

Alright… pre/post menstrual stress do exist upto to some level very much..i agree.. but its completely manipulated by the circumstance.. if u notice it mostly occurs to woman who are surrounded by a lot of men.. rather at least one of them..or lets say the stress is projected into a huge issue only by the men around.. u say it’s a reason woman give all thro the month to justify their bad moods.. I say it’s a reason men give to convince us women that its not him, its ‘her’ who is to blame..and its bcos of her hormones and its problems that she’s this anxious, emotional and angry at this time..well it’s a way to give the woman the blame, let her take it without denials and also blame her later for using it as a tool to get what she wants..well in the first place, if she gets what she wants y the hell is she even stressed? Yes of course she takes a lil advantage of it and use it to her benefit sometimes, thankfully, every coin has two sides.

I hate to call it pre-menstrual stress and keep it gender biased.. if the pain is for both the gender (as the men claim)..I wanna abbreviate it into ‘Production Management System’ if not for reproduction mgt sys.. cos both the parties (along with the hormones) involved in reproduction are causing it and the person takin it of course is the same one who takes the pain of the final output too. Lets see, when he took u out to a beautiful dinner for ur bday last yr..and made u feel like a queen.. u din ve any pms even a day b4 ur chums.. but this yr wen he forgot ur bday or jus din care to buy u even a rose.. ur pms bugs him too much this month… so yea, if ur boyfriend’s cheating on u and u know it, ur pms hits u well in advance.. mayb 2 weeks ahead of wen it shud.. and who cares how much it is bugging u deep inside wen u very well its not just the pms! Well its all in ur body hon and its stupid mechanics.. ur poor bf has to take all this shit from u cos of it.. phew!

Those instances were explained to u from what I have heard from gals.. who have been and are goin thro this treachery… ignorant of the curse they are blamed for, naively acceptin blame believing its in their favor.. sometimes feelin guilty for it too…and what I ve heard from guys who are boyfriends/husbands of such ‘PMS Possessed’ females who are making their lives miserable. I have also seen perfectly happy couples (really?) not knowing what the hell the term even means.

Nevertheless, from my experiences with PMS patients (who are clinically treated for this) and from what the doc suggests and the placebos given to them (that are jus bcomplex and vitamin tabs under a weird name! thanks to google!) I say with all confidence and pride.. it’s a bloody myth.. and its well used and utilized by the society to fool us all into thinking we are being protected.. wen in fact we are being abused in the name of it.. (y not we start treating EBRS too?) Its jus Psychiatry baby! Don be weak.. don blame ‘that time of the month’ nemore for your miseries.. and then u ll see that its jus another physical cycle like u pee or shit.. yes it causes a lot more of pain than the said..wat else do u expect wen life fucks u yet again in the same damn stand up for ur rite gals…n if he disagrees…tell him he’s jus goin thro ‘EBRS’…fart the shit out back on to his face next time.. and tell me how he reacts, m really curious!

Disclaimer: These are not facts, but my personal opinions based on true stories (plus a little research on google) and a few extracts from my free (unisex) relationship ‘counseling’ sessions offered on gtalk that I will soon start charging for (per hour)!

(And of course forgive the hostile tone…m just feelin a bit aggressive cos m PMSing :D)


Shades of Grey said...

I have my irrational moments as much as I have my rational ones - you can take that to mean anything at this point :D

I am taking a pill (EPO) for the past ten years for my hair/skin but have recently found that it is also prescribed for PMS. Maybe my dosage isn't strong enough. It's a condition that is very real. I am not sure of how it can be manipulated. Often, when my sudden bursts of fury subside I tell myself it was just PMS. But personally, I maintain a calendar so I know that only a week before my periods, anything I say or do can be brushed off as PMS. Not necessarily forgivable, but not to be taken seriously. There is a difference. One week = 7 days. The other 23 I am perfectly normal and my anger is justified. There are times when I react to a situation, R runs to the calendar to check :D

I should be bugd I suppose - but I am glad he thinks that far ahead before he responds to my anger. I am very rash with my words but react very badly when given the same treatment. It's not just anger. Sometimes I burst into tears, often instigated by a small thing. Yesterday we had to discipline Hyde - it was the worst moment of our lives but we had to punish him. But I spent the whole night bawling that we would have to leave him some nasty kennel whilst we spent our first Christmas down south, without him. A whole lot of insecurities surfaced as to whether or not I would make a good parent to whether Hyde actually learnt anything from his punishment. Yes, I put it down to PMS.

Our actions are largely determined by our hormones. We cannot ignore that fact. And yes, men are the main reason behind it, for me any way. My most violent rages have been against my brother and husband, and because I do not have the guts for it - I have violent conversations with my father in my head. I do not remember any woman in my life who brings out that kind of irrationality in me. It's just years of suppression resurfacing.

Basically what I am saying is, I don't mind if R puts my anger down to PMS. If it is PMS - my anger will pass and I will be very loving. If it isn't, I just don't talk to him and become very cold - which he sees as a clear sign that something really IS wrong. Often, that is also the only time I know that something is seriously wrong :D

the blogger formerly known as sansmerci said...

I have to agree with u jane.. thats y i put a disclaimer sayin this is not facts! cos i kno for sure that my emotions are on a high and i act exctly like u decribed a week or even 10 days b4 my chums.. yea m bein treated for it too..with those placebos...which act very well on me wen i ve nothin to worry bout..and doesnt act on me at all wen m actually stressed bout something.. but its so obv that any moment of anger or guilt or paranoia or tears is triggered by men and that brings me to the conclusion that if and only if m frustrated bout something in ma head.. my hormones add fuel to it and make it worse at tht time of the month.. otherwise.. i ve to agree they start lookin for something to add fuel to :D

but yea some stories i hear.. i feel bad that the woman is being misused and made felt guilty bcos of this.. wen she has every rite to be angry for wat he has done..or mayb its this way.. its the only time we have an excuse to show our deepest aversions to wat they do..n its nullified wen he says its jus pms!

and really .. i din wanna c any logic wen i wrote this..jus let out the frustration..of being accused.. the last line gives it out i guess.. :)

Ramya said...

As usual you come out with a seemingly controversial, but actually harmless post, which always makes your blog so interesting!Love it :-)

An Open Book said... should give jane more space to write than your comments column..her post is longer than yours... :)

An Open Book said...

And about the PMS...i think its all in the head...i use it as an excuse to not cook and clean or do anything rather...its just the easy way out whether its for the man or woman..for the woman who fights and cries and throws a tantrum and the man who keeps telling himself..its just that time of the month.i shall let it pass :)

the blogger formerly known as sansmerci said...

thanks :)

i love janes comments! :)
and u hit the spot rite on about pms!

Reflections said...

Sheesh.....this is all news to me. I didnt know that the men in ur[any] lives actually kept of these things.

WHen I think back yes there are certain days when I'm all gloomy and think very despondent stuff...Generally have a good cry & let it all out and then I'm all done, never troubled the better-half with it. Looks like I've not been doing myself any favours.

So right, the next time it happens the better-half is going to get an overdose of it;-D

Heeee...things are looking up:-))!!

the blogger formerly known as sansmerci said...

nancy! how come ur funny all the time :) and m sure ur hubbys very lucky jus cos of this! no wonder, pms doesnt affect either of u.. and u have escaped the vicious circle.. of perception affecting reality and vice versa :)

and yea .. now don tell him u read my blog and came to this decision.. duh! some social service m doin :P

Praveen said...

relationship ‘counseling’ sessions

hmm... i didnt know that...

Like the term, Easy Blame Reversal Syndrome ;)

interesting topic, but nothing much really to comment :D sucked in by the title ;)

the blogger formerly known as sansmerci said...


good that at least u left one :) first guy to comment on this post

Enigma said...

Swar loved reading ur post and the comments too....well i know PMS is there for sure and its really bad with some... there was a time wen i used to go into uncontrolable rage and all those kind of things and nver knew until much much later in life that it must hav all been due to PMS and all, but i guess that intensity of things have subsided...
lol but i cannot explain y i feel nasty most days now and am constantly angry and hav hubby complaining that i am angry all the time, dont talk properly or lovingly and blah blah blah ablh....phewwww

Inexplicably said...

I so know what you are asking. I wonder about it all the time - is it only me ? What about those so perfectly pulled together women ? Its reassuring to know that its the same with other girls...