Thursday, January 03, 2008


Empty spaces filled with bits and pieces don’t feel whole
Shattered dreams compensated don’t reach the soul
While am walking around freezing cold
Hope is a luxury I cannot afford

Dreams, hopes, inspiration, ambition, compassion, love, compromise, soul mate, sweet, passion, sex, money, luxury, bitter, desperation, addiction, emptiness, loneliness, fear, god, music, heart, hurt, bleed, death and life after the soul is dead! How do I dream again?

It so happens that when we need something we don’t get it and when we get it we don’t know its worth and when its too late we need it badly again. This circle is too damn funny when I come to think of it, looking at it as a person outside the world, as a 3rd person to the human mind. I wanna lauf my ass off at this inversely proportionate theory of what ppl need and what they get. But yeah I am not a 3rd person here and my life is almost always ruled by this crazy formula.

Think of it, this would’ve happened to you, something that felt home feels strange, someone who felt ‘yours’ seems a stranger and everything your world was made of could mean nothing to you one day. It’s kinda creepy actually. I am very nostalgic and I can relate to a place or person even after years of separation. But still with some people or places, say an office you worked for years or a person who was your best friend from childhood don’t seem to fit in your life when you meet them after so many years cos you and your life has changed completely. But the greatest miracle is that one word of hatred, one act of repulsion or a spot of misunderstanding makes a place not home anymore or distant a friend from the heart in a fraction. The theory of finding intimacy with someone who was a stranger once is acceptable but vice versa is definitely weird!

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle of a broken mirror image of yourself. You try to put yourself in place but you don’t realize its all just a reflection of who you are and what you do. A broken heart is as painful even after compromise like a rose that smells the same whatever name you call it. Life is definitely not a box of chocolate, if so we’ll all be named Forrest Gump! Cos when I don kno whats rong or rite, and act impulsive I only get what I deserve!

PS: Please ignore or just lol at my new found philosophical writing, am just dead bored at work and jotting down everything that wen thro my head with no sequence as usual. You know its weird when I started (thinking to start?) writing good (positive) stuff on my blog as most (that is all) of you keep telling me to … all I get to read in others blogs r tempting me to get bak to dark writing! Whatever said and done, words are best when you are depressed or drunk!