Finally the year comes to an end and I already feel like my miseries are ending with the year ending. I have never taken any resolution in all these years. I am reaching a quarter century and have probably already lived 1/3rd of my life and can’t think bout anything good that I have done to myself or the people around me or for anyone in the world at all. So I am thinking of taking a resolution this year. Not one but many! Probably for all these years I have wasted wasting myself in a wasted world of my own.
Come to think of it, the best year in my life was 2004! 2005 was good enough, no complains. But yea 2006 was getting to my head and 2007 finally made me into a nothing n I was about to lose myself or rather I did and have come back to life again now, thanks to the most understanding doc in the world and the most loving mom in the world who are still by my side. Now my first resolution is to keep their faith on me and give them success by becoming a happy person as I was in 2004. I guess I’ve to make a lotta changes to become myself again. 2004! Wow it was a dream life. If I find a time machine I would go back and stop it rite there and definitely would have never made any of the mistakes I did or regretted later.
So I was analyzing what was so special about this year that makes me so happy when I think of it. Yes I was in the best college with an awesome set of friends, partying all the time, learning mass communication (supposed to be what I wanted to learn from childhood but dint learn anything tho), staying in Sathyam cinema and watching 3 movies a day, really kewl lectures from whom I’ve learnt a lot (ahem), working towards my MS and what not! I can keep on listing them. No I cant get back or do any of this cos I am not 21 anymore. So I decide to look deeper into everything and take the essence of it.
First and foremost, I was being loved. I believe that’s the only thing that keeps me going or anyone for that matter. I was in a perfect relationship with someone perfect, which might never happen again in my life. Nevermind! And then I fell in love! Truly madly deeply crazily in love with someone who loved me the same way back. I had the most romantic days of my life though virtually it was true! I wrote a lot, poetry, scripts, magazine articles, copies for campaigns, simply put as college projects which meant the world to me. I could write and I was appreciated. There was a bunch of people who thought I wrote well. There were a couple of friends who considered me a nice person in spite of all my negatives. I felt good about myself outwardly and inwardly. Took care of my appearance and felt good looking. I was motivated to look forward to something by working towards GRE and applying abroad. I was achieving something, going somewhere, had a future. And YES my kids! The one PR campaign that showed me who I am, the love within me and what made me happy and how one could find happiness and love so easily instead of searching for it everywhere.
So here comes 2008! Another leap year after 2004. I am gonna take a bigger leap this time. I will believe in love once again. I will be a happy person; I will bring happiness to people around me. I wont get into my lonely dark world and cry out for love. I will fall in LOVE once again with all faith and belief and make it the perfect relationship I was looking for instead of searching for the right one who loves me, I will find my career in writing with confidence by writing positive, thinking creative and most of all have a good self image, I will take care of my health and body to feel good looking again eat right work out :P, listen to the one person who loves me unconditionally keep her happy by being happy and a good gal yes am trying to become a teetotaler (really really com’on!) and am sure I’ll achieve it soon, work towards a future if not studying abroad something else to look forward to as a happy future, travel the world or atleast DREAM and plan for it and work for it, follow what life has taught me and last but not the least, visit my kids often love them more find more kids and bring more happiness to myself!
YES! I will DREAM! I will LOVE! No force inside or outside me can stop it again and if it does m gonna throw it outa me or outa my life! Strong stronger strongest is my path now! I am sure I’ll be on my blog in 2009 Jan! Lets c if I keep up all this then I’ll b a better person definitely in love (probably married) :D with lotsa kids where ever I go. Guess I just found my time machine as I was typing my heart out… bye bye I gotta catch it soon….
Come to think of it, the best year in my life was 2004! 2005 was good enough, no complains. But yea 2006 was getting to my head and 2007 finally made me into a nothing n I was about to lose myself or rather I did and have come back to life again now, thanks to the most understanding doc in the world and the most loving mom in the world who are still by my side. Now my first resolution is to keep their faith on me and give them success by becoming a happy person as I was in 2004. I guess I’ve to make a lotta changes to become myself again. 2004! Wow it was a dream life. If I find a time machine I would go back and stop it rite there and definitely would have never made any of the mistakes I did or regretted later.
So I was analyzing what was so special about this year that makes me so happy when I think of it. Yes I was in the best college with an awesome set of friends, partying all the time, learning mass communication (supposed to be what I wanted to learn from childhood but dint learn anything tho), staying in Sathyam cinema and watching 3 movies a day, really kewl lectures from whom I’ve learnt a lot (ahem), working towards my MS and what not! I can keep on listing them. No I cant get back or do any of this cos I am not 21 anymore. So I decide to look deeper into everything and take the essence of it.
First and foremost, I was being loved. I believe that’s the only thing that keeps me going or anyone for that matter. I was in a perfect relationship with someone perfect, which might never happen again in my life. Nevermind! And then I fell in love! Truly madly deeply crazily in love with someone who loved me the same way back. I had the most romantic days of my life though virtually it was true! I wrote a lot, poetry, scripts, magazine articles, copies for campaigns, simply put as college projects which meant the world to me. I could write and I was appreciated. There was a bunch of people who thought I wrote well. There were a couple of friends who considered me a nice person in spite of all my negatives. I felt good about myself outwardly and inwardly. Took care of my appearance and felt good looking. I was motivated to look forward to something by working towards GRE and applying abroad. I was achieving something, going somewhere, had a future. And YES my kids! The one PR campaign that showed me who I am, the love within me and what made me happy and how one could find happiness and love so easily instead of searching for it everywhere.
So here comes 2008! Another leap year after 2004. I am gonna take a bigger leap this time. I will believe in love once again. I will be a happy person; I will bring happiness to people around me. I wont get into my lonely dark world and cry out for love. I will fall in LOVE once again with all faith and belief and make it the perfect relationship I was looking for instead of searching for the right one who loves me, I will find my career in writing with confidence by writing positive, thinking creative and most of all have a good self image, I will take care of my health and body to feel good looking again eat right work out :P, listen to the one person who loves me unconditionally keep her happy by being happy and a good gal yes am trying to become a teetotaler (really really com’on!) and am sure I’ll achieve it soon, work towards a future if not studying abroad something else to look forward to as a happy future, travel the world or atleast DREAM and plan for it and work for it, follow what life has taught me and last but not the least, visit my kids often love them more find more kids and bring more happiness to myself!
YES! I will DREAM! I will LOVE! No force inside or outside me can stop it again and if it does m gonna throw it outa me or outa my life! Strong stronger strongest is my path now! I am sure I’ll be on my blog in 2009 Jan! Lets c if I keep up all this then I’ll b a better person definitely in love (probably married) :D with lotsa kids where ever I go. Guess I just found my time machine as I was typing my heart out… bye bye I gotta catch it soon….
Hurray! Undefinedoxymoron.blogspot.com will be on
www.sansmerci.in from 2008!
