Looks like i am a fortune teller ... i wrote this lil song in OCT 2004 ... exctly 2 yrs bak .. found it in my comp by chance..
Living without life
…… And my life will come to a standstill
Nothing to do; no where to go
Not a single reason to live
No target to achieve
No ladder to climb
When I’d feel guilty to eat
And too restless to sleep
No work and so no play
Would be numb & cold where ever I stay
When my half dead conscious mocks at me
Would feel like the whole world laughs at me
Thinking of that day frightens me today too
The day when my life would die before I do !!
Monday, October 09, 2006
If only I cud turn bak time ...
Posted by sansmerci at 8:04 PM 0 comments
Labels: blabbering, emptiness, introspection, my thoughts, nothing, personal, poetry, restless, sansmerci
Friday, October 06, 2006
socially dead virtually alive
An old lady just passed me by, she gave me a weird look and said ‘If I were u I wud b out in the beach havin fun!’ n gave a sweet smile, which I supposed meant ‘instead of sittin in this claustrophobic room talking to ur imaginary friends’.
When was the last time u took a pen and sat down to write on a piece of paper? I almost cant rem wen i did that after those 'eggjams' I hated in skool. I m trying to write now, I kno I have to type this later to get it on in my blog. Truth is our lives are revolving around typing, spellcheks, googling info and using fotoshop. Sometimes i get a desperate need to use control 'f' wen m tryin to search somethin in a book. They say books r the premitive form of dvds. Are we so spoilt n spoonfed today that we choose someone else to picturize a story we r told n refuse to let out imagination do the work. I have been outa the internet for the last 2 days and it feels like a decade outa the universe. But this break gave me time to think bout wats happening. I have read a lot of theories about media affecting socialization n stuff. So very true. I have no links to the world now without a laptop or a mobile. Maybe the effect is more on me cos my life is literally virtual n nothing else. But m sure there r many ppl out there who is like me or atleast getting there. Trust me its not funny wen the only way u get to talk is by typing. I realize that almost all my closest friends were found thro the internet or in contact with me cos of it. Gradually over time my socialization skills have reduced and now its almost shaking my confidence. I thought I was a very friendly person. But now m thinking twice. Really I cant make friends nemore or even sit alone n enjoy nature for a few mins. If m not connected to the world, m like a fish outa water. Gone r those days wen we were kids, hung out had fun had a real life. A telephone conversation is the closest we get to interpersonal communication n now we c every tom dick n harry with a mobile in their hand talking to god-knows-who, even funny wen they have a Bluetooth n seem like talking/engrossed in themselves while they don take a min to smile at the person walkin beside them. Life is so man-made now it seems like jus an illusion. What wud an alien lookin down from another planet think we r doin here.. ‘wat the hell is goin on in this weird planet?????????????????????’
Television doesnt really attract me but we all wud agree, every child today grows up believing wat the TV tells them the world is. Why kids, even u and me, we learn so much from movies and tv. Consciously or subconsciously something from a movie stays up in my head, I have learnt more bout everythin from relationships to crime from wat I watch or wat media projects to me. The society I imagine that I am living in, depends on the kinda media m exposed to and so are my values n principles affected/mended in the long term. When it comes to exposure, sometimes we have a choice n sometimes we jus don’t n sometimes we dono that we have a choice or wat to choose. Media does have its adv, if used in the rite way for the rite thing esp TV cos its so powerful reaching us rite in the comfort of our home. OMG y do I feel like m writing a ‘communication theory’ paper..
....anyways now the question is where is the real society? Or is there one at all? Where is cyberspace? Where r we living? Seems like a bigger mystery to me than ‘creation’ itself. This illusionary world we have got ourselves into .. how long is this gonna last? Or is it gonna get worse, first twas cinema/tv/telephone now its internet/wireless fones, wat’s the next power bomb that’s gonna send us all into a state of total virtual reality. Is this a challenge to God from man? I can create a better world than u Mister!!
Posted by sansmerci at 11:34 AM 0 comments
Labels: blabbering, controversy, introspection, my thoughts, philosophy, realization, restless