PMS: Myths Busted - The Other Side of the Story

All u ladies in the house, here’s an open question to u

“How do u feel when ur really angry and pissed at something, its breaking ur heart, getting on ur nerves and u feel absolutely helpless and wanna break down, waiting on a regret or at least an explanation from him, if not a make-up act, and all u hear him say is ‘It’ll all be ok soon baby…ur just PMSing and m getting used to it’!”

This is what I have termed as the act of ‘Easy Blame Reversal Syndrome (EBRS)’!

Well yo’all know what am talking about… I can hear the guys sigh as tho it’s the biggest curse that has been brought upon them since the birth of human race…but I feel like its the biggest plot that men have come up with (they probably do have a secret sorority to come up with such stuff on a universal basis)…to fool woman into believing that she and her precious body (which otherwise is worshipped by the same men as the greatest gift to mankind) are the only reason for any pain caused to her and in fact its causing pain to him too.. tho not technically even close to what she goes thro.. his miseries are more talked about than hers..in fact the only recognized pain of hers is that which affects him, if u know what I mean! I wonder in olden days when ppl knew nothing bout how the body worked and how hormones caused mayhem…did they still go thro PMS? I don think so dude! Those times wen she went thro pain.. it was seen as mere pain..and was empathized with..not as a u-don-ve-a-choice-so-stop-whining-n-put-up-with-it pain…

Alright… pre/post menstrual stress do exist upto to some level very much..i agree.. but its completely manipulated by the circumstance.. if u notice it mostly occurs to woman who are surrounded by a lot of men.. rather at least one of them..or lets say the stress is projected into a huge issue only by the men around.. u say it’s a reason woman give all thro the month to justify their bad moods.. I say it’s a reason men give to convince us women that its not him, its ‘her’ who is to blame..and its bcos of her hormones and its problems that she’s this anxious, emotional and angry at this time..well it’s a way to give the woman the blame, let her take it without denials and also blame her later for using it as a tool to get what she wants..well in the first place, if she gets what she wants y the hell is she even stressed? Yes of course she takes a lil advantage of it and use it to her benefit sometimes, thankfully, every coin has two sides.

I hate to call it pre-menstrual stress and keep it gender biased.. if the pain is for both the gender (as the men claim)..I wanna abbreviate it into ‘Production Management System’ if not for reproduction mgt sys.. cos both the parties (along with the hormones) involved in reproduction are causing it and the person takin it of course is the same one who takes the pain of the final output too. Lets see, when he took u out to a beautiful dinner for ur bday last yr..and made u feel like a queen.. u din ve any pms even a day b4 ur chums.. but this yr wen he forgot ur bday or jus din care to buy u even a rose.. ur pms bugs him too much this month… so yea, if ur boyfriend’s cheating on u and u know it, ur pms hits u well in advance.. mayb 2 weeks ahead of wen it shud.. and who cares how much it is bugging u deep inside wen u very well its not just the pms! Well its all in ur body hon and its stupid mechanics.. ur poor bf has to take all this shit from u cos of it.. phew!

Those instances were explained to u from what I have heard from gals.. who have been and are goin thro this treachery… ignorant of the curse they are blamed for, naively acceptin blame believing its in their favor.. sometimes feelin guilty for it too…and what I ve heard from guys who are boyfriends/husbands of such ‘PMS Possessed’ females who are making their lives miserable. I have also seen perfectly happy couples (really?) not knowing what the hell the term even means.

Nevertheless, from my experiences with PMS patients (who are clinically treated for this) and from what the doc suggests and the placebos given to them (that are jus bcomplex and vitamin tabs under a weird name! thanks to google!) I say with all confidence and pride.. it’s a bloody myth.. and its well used and utilized by the society to fool us all into thinking we are being protected.. wen in fact we are being abused in the name of it.. (y not we start treating EBRS too?) Its jus Psychiatry baby! Don be weak.. don blame ‘that time of the month’ nemore for your miseries.. and then u ll see that its jus another physical cycle like u pee or shit.. yes it causes a lot more of pain than the said..wat else do u expect wen life fucks u yet again in the same damn hole...now stand up for ur rite gals…n if he disagrees…tell him he’s jus goin thro ‘EBRS’…fart the shit out back on to his face next time.. and tell me how he reacts, m really curious!

Disclaimer: These are not facts, but my personal opinions based on true stories (plus a little research on google) and a few extracts from my free (unisex) relationship ‘counseling’ sessions offered on gtalk that I will soon start charging for (per hour)!

(And of course forgive the hostile tone…m just feelin a bit aggressive cos m PMSing :D)

I wish...

i wish the tv was a woman
and loved him back as much...
yes! i love him enough to wish for that
no! i don love him enough to wish i was her...

i jus want to feel jealous without feelin stupid!

The Art of Feeling Loved

i dono wat to write on d-day as everyone asks for, but i cud start by my usual abstract ways..wrting bout something i ve learnt over these 25 yrs in my life....about love...

when does one decide to get hitched? how do u take the decision of living with someone all ur life, changing urself for them, accepting every disappointment, struggling through every obstacle that comes ur way and be strong that its 'this person' that will be committed too and wil never be tempted to choose anyone else... thats wen u decide to legally become someones husband/wife, the amount of confidence it takes on the other person is not simple... so much of insecuity, so much of apprehension, so much of fear of the unknown future... what breaks it allmakes the heart happy and long so deepyly for the day i ll be all his.. is the love...m sure u all wud agree.. if not for love.. flowers would've remained mere parts of a plant's anatomy...

what is this love that makes the world spin around and reproduce and changes the by-default selfish nature of human into a 'giving' nature? is it the attraction/crush i felt towards the 13 yr old boy wen i was in 8th std, and i thought i will be married to him one day after probably 20 yrs :P or the lengths i went thro wen i was 17 to make sure my family accepts my affair with my 'boyfriend' at school and get me married by the time i finish my UG! or probably run away with him wen m 18 and never turn bak...and yea live happily ever after like a movie couple!

Now i was 20 and i realised its time to move on...and i knew that family comes first and there's no better love than their's. I found a nice person at heart, who let me be myself, learn, grow up, no strings attached, no forceful commitments and posseiveness, no kiddish fites as with the teenage love... i felt myself grow in the relationship, made me see the world as a better place and more to life than all this... 'love' found yet another meaning in my life... but mayb i grew too much outa it...there are some people like a ladder in life u will never forget ur gratitude towards them and he's one of it, but i still din get enuff love i think ... mayb i am insatiable... and i had to fly... far away to learn life by myself.. independant of family and friends...

and there was another learning.. another life i had to learn.. the hard way.. and another love.. much stronger... much longer and much more important than anything i had in life... so is this love? the one i wud give anything for? i wud go thro anything for, I wud give my life for... i am 22, am i ready to commit to one person? how do i decide? u think u wud want to live with a person u love? hell no! i cud love a million people, once i decide on my life partner i cud love him to death, and thats how arranged marriages work rite? love is inside you and u decide who to shower it on....

so YES! the fact remains that u decide to live all ur life with someone with whom u FEEL loved! and it doesnt come so easily... its very easy to show love, to express it, to give, its too damn difficult to take, to find and to feel loved unless the person is someone who showers it everyday dramatically... and if u think its an energy that comes from the outside, i don think so, to feel loved is an art in itself, to feel wanted, to feel important, to feel special to someone, it takes so much strength within to know that ur worthy of this person's love esp. this person who u think is worth ur love. its once in a million yrs that these two coincide and thats wen u see the rainbows and butterflies in colors u havent seen since u were 13 and had ur different versions of love...

i, being a cynic, being a person with very low self esteem with high self-confidence, is the worst in this art, i cud be called a child's scribble at sketchin in feelin loved and watever u do, i will still feel unworthy of ur love...and then i decided to get hitched to the long term love of my life, only cos i love him and not cos i felt loved... i ran away from him who i was running to...n then i learnt my mistake...what was missin from my heart...i learnt it...yes i did wen i was 25, and learnt it religiously in the last one yr.. to know what love actually is, to know how to absorb it from everyday actions, to know thatur being loved and wanted... to ignore the fights, to ignore moments of anger, to ignore broken promises, to ignore being ignored.. and to c the whole picture... to see beyond material everyday happenings... to feel loved and cherished.. it comes from me.. its from within that it needs to start... its my decision to feel loved or unloved by someone...very simply taken from the decision he has made to love me forever....

...and then i found HIM, its been the same him for all the while but its a HIM in my heart now and it'll remain on the throne forever... cos i feel loved.. i KNOW he loves me come what may, expressed or implied... cos 'I' know it.. and i have learnt to know it....the art of feeling loved is the toughest to learn ever...and once u do... ur ready to start a life, a family, be THE mother to the entire family and give love unconditionally!

I AM READY!

Stop living mine...

i never post one after the other..esp cos ppl take time to come to my blog and COMMENT but this time i felt i need to write bout this thing as soon as possible b4 the burnin fades out in me... or mayb it will never...

my blog is very laid back ... u may not agree...or at least usually doesn't talk bout current affairs be it bout obama or about mumbai attacks wen every single blog in the sphere had a mandatory post ... and now its bout the pub attack in mangalore...no i din wanna write on it either but my comments on other blogs started growing bigger and bigger tht i realized i've so much to say on this and m so angry tht i need to give this some space in my blog..

i am not angry or pissed or even bothered about that ram sena or whatever.. in fact me being an atheist i don give a damn if its ram's sena or Jesus sena or Allah's sena or whose ever ass' sena that are harassing gals in the name of CULTURE! so this is not about me opposing a particular culture or anything as many who i know would read this wud claim jus cos i don believe in religion, i respect everyone's rite to religion... and wud like some respect for individuality and choice of what-i-consider-moral and my culture too.. so the 'u' i refer to in the entire post truly represents MCPs i wud like to shoot if u gimme a gun now and not any group or sect in particular since i am blissly ignorant of politics, this is only bout ppl around me and their attitude...

first of all, i believe culture has to evolve, else we ' ll all still be cave men.. history is meant to be in the meseum and enjoyed on trips...i am very proud of my country its culture etc etc but i live in 2009 and let me live in the present and what i decide to follow from my ancestors due to my love and respect and belief in it is my choice and not urs...u can choose urs, i don bother u ...

i mean who are some desperate i-cant-get-those-independent-gals-so-they-are-sour-grapes men to decide what is moral and what is not? i don quite understand the situation here... what exactly is the prob? that they don get nuff? or they jus cant handle it? and which indian culture allows guys to harrass gals in public... i heard arguments like if the gals are bold nuff to come in public n drink they have to face such things from guys...yea rite! its like the burglar says if u have a house i will loot it its my birth rite its ur mistake to have a house and a life in the first place..jus cos its a burglar';s world and they make the rules!

i really think female infanticides are better off! atleast they kno wat the gal is gonna face ... sheer injustice and unfairness so she can rather be dead and gone than living in a man's world.. i was blind to the fact for 25 hyrs..i thought the world is a better place and there is so much freedom of 'will' for everyone ... but then i was wrong and i was hell rong in thinkin m for men and considered feminists to be hypocrites and dumbos and jobless ppl .. today i declare with pride tht i am feminist and there is nothin rong in it to equate the MCP's in the world from takin over completely ..If ur supportin for ur religion m supportin for my gender...

i am angry .. but with the ppl around me who think woman are weaker sex and so will they b ... and have to be... we choose to be moral... we chose to be responsible... we chose to be the mother (physically impregnating a child doesn't make one a mother she does it by choice)we choose to be a better person than u morally... and that shud be appreciated and not be taken advantage of ... u cant get certain things by demand and force, respect and love are few of em... sorry but how wud u know that?

what exactly is culture? (in ur dick-tionary).. cos i was thinkin culture is acting more 'evolved' and sophisticated and not barbaric...

guess anyone whose watched even a single Tamil movie knows the cliched statements...there are many guys i ve come across since childhood, who wen losin an arguement goes to the last resort of using this 'i can walk naked in public, can u?' thats the most loser(est) statement i've heard in life.. i think the answer is simple.. we jus choose not to.. u can afford to miss a copper ring in the crowd, try throwin a gold ring and c if noone flicks it... we r precious and we've made ourselves so... yes i have b**bs that u lust on and don have a d*** to f*** u? (oh how i wish!)now how does that make u a better person? i think that only makes me a better person than u in every way and gives the rite and need to decide if u shud come to the pub or not cos ur the one causing trouble here for me!

uff! that done ... i wud like to say that m proud to be a women who has sense, who has a mind of her own to discriminate between whats good for me and my family, how i shud dress where and for whom i shud dress and whom i shud care for ... and most of all, what my values my culture and my morality lies in ... and if in a country that claims to have got freedom of expression and will and rite to choose ur religion and culture...i am ashamed to be a citizen of this country hypocritically callin itself mother India and namin all the places and rivers after women... get a life... we don need to be treated as god .. we jus wanna be human...jus let us live...

well i can keep on writing..but seriously if someone can keep dictating terms to women jus cos they are not one.. i jus wish i can die now and be born a guy .. if thts all it takes to enjoy everythin in the world and lose nothin in return while rulin others lives as to what hey shud do too! wow! and say 'hey lady ur my god, ur the mother, ur cultured, ur pure, u jus have to be my slave and follow my rules to earn this name all ur life... and who am i to judge u? well i ll stray cos am a man'' i really wonder what extra horn men have! but m sure its not in the head...

No i am not in for pub culture... no i am not against it either.. i am for freedom of choice...i drink .. i dont.. its not ur prob.. its my lifestyle.. if ur jealous n cant take it ...well wat can i say...get a life .. hey wait! is the health of the young generation ur real concern? have some concern on the poor guys too then! cos if its spoilin my health in a way its spoiling urs in a worse way! close down all the pubs and make it a dry country (damn did i jus say that!)

or jus add a board in front of pubs sayin 'dogs and women not allowed'

and soon add it in cineplex's, malls, probably the beach too? cos i've seen women dressed in western outfit and hangin out with no CULTURE in these places too! and finally u can achieve ur target of not lettin us into the living room, in fact nowhere beyond the kitchen, bedroom and occasionally the bathroom if u permit... by say 2020? hurray! we are all getting civilized and cultured and (de)volved!

ok this post ll be come too huge to read soon.. so cuttin here i jus have few links to give ya ... here's some petition against the whole thingie which i don belive will do any good but if u do pls go ahead and sign it .. its against moral policing so i am for it.. whoever it is against!

http://www.petitiononline.com/SMP12345/petition.html

what can make me even more angry? c i don interfere in ur beliefs and religion...
well i believe in love ...its my religion and its one day i get to celebrate for my religion.. u guys have so many festivals! ur religion mite want to secure the past but mine wants to secure the future.. with more love and real values so i think i shud really stand up for this... here's a funny blog for valentines day thingie.. ppl who are opposing spread of LOVE in this country... join it if u believe in the V-day or in expressin love on any day for that matter!

http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com/

listen to me Mr.MCP, this u really need to know, if u think woman don deserve love its nto affectin just them, if the future generation shudnt be born for love and only for marriage and sex, they will be born as loveless zombies attackin random women outa sheer desperation.. jus like their ancestors.. jus to follow tradition and culture blindly :) now go home and show some love to ur wife b4 she decides to run away...

A tribute to the not so FAIR sex....

sometimes life is so unfair...i know thats sucha cliched statement and u already kno this post is fulla my rants :P not really... i am a person who truly believes giving gives happiness and taking only leaves u feelin guilty and uncomfortable... but at some point a gal reaches saturation (Read men are from mars women are from venus!) i kno that book has inspired me lots mayb cos its the only one i ve read in life :D but seriously that almost seems like the story of my life and love ...mayb thats y it took me nuff interest to read it ....

there are many things money cant buy ... love is not one of it anymore... as lotsa ppl say and many ppl think and some people believe...but wat my life has taught me is that appreciation is one of it...it is probably the rarest commodity to get today and hence it is the biggest gift anyone can gimme.. now u kno y all my readers are so valuable? that wasnt said for the sake of readership but truly after all u do .. the least u can get is a smile of appreciation that u ve made someone happy with ur efforts...

like i had writen in my spiderman post... power does not bring in responsibility anymore..its more like someone has the power, some other the responsibility, someone else accounted for and yea the doormat does all the dog work! no m not talkin bout jus the work done or talent shown.. even love expressed ... wen not appreciated (note i din say reciprocated) is the worst thing money or anything u do for that matter can never buy... its jus so elusive!

y am i talkin all this shit? no m not in a good mood u got it rite! and i don even have the rite to trash it on my gtalk status anymore since m gettin married and anything i say in my status seems to be understood related to that! cant i have my usual mood swings :) ok if u don believe me lemme quote a small instance here...

There is young maid in our bangalore house say around 18 yrs old, who falls sick, and her sister (who happens to be even younger) comes to do the chores, i get pissed i tell my mom if she gonna let her do the work i will call the cops rite away for child labor!.. i am seen as an insensible idiot :( who lives by the text book rules ... mom promises to not let her work from the next day...so i look at this almost 8-yr old kid with her torn frock shown all her bak... and with that picture in my head i go to work... its disturbing me all day...i walk thro commercial street (as usual!) on my way bak home and those cute kids wear that i always love to watch and jus waiting to buy for someone n dyin to have kids jus for that sake! invite me inevitable.. i buy some and give this kid outa sheer selfishness of gettin the pleasure of buyin those cute stuff and takin away the guilt of makin the kid work for a day in my house and most of all make her promise that she will go to school regularly henceforth! *interval*

what happens next? she starts comin everyday to our house hopin to get something.. doesnt care bout school anymore.. tries to steal some cds... talks arrogantly to my mom...says that the dress already got old and she needs more after2 weeks... finally runs off with some 100 bucks and never comes bak... what do i get in return? everytime she does something i get all the scoldings like she is my kid! well words go like.. u think ur mother teresa ... u go buy that gal some crap she got on our heads... u jus dono who to trust... ur an idiot of the first order.. ur a fool bcos of u we lost a maid now.... u do all ur social service crap somewhere.. wat u think of urself don show off at home...etc etc.. i was left alone with a tear,... no i din have the heart to curse that kid even then ...i did it for my own pleasure... and i got bak nuff for it!

so that aside... y this title u ask as always... i kno ive always tried to be politically correct and try not to sound feministic... but wat the hell i am a gal and i need to relate wen the unfair sex sends unwarranted accuses in the form of forwarded emails.. oh yea they have this line always with it that says fwd to gals with a sense of humor only! i do have a betetr sense of humor than u wen the joke is on u :)

so this forward mail called 'guys rules' which has been comin to me for almost 3 4 yrs on a regular basis now.. always made me feel sick and irritated tho i never usually relate myself to gals (as most of u know!) with least gal friends to talk to know their attitudes and as most of my readers are men too i don even think of writing anything against them... but there were exceptions.. and this is one such post that will definitely start a controvery! but hey this thing made me feel too unfair on the part of the guys... which i ve quite learnt by experience is a basic characteristics of that gender...no wonder we are called the 'fair sex' and it took me too long to understand this!

so here it goes: My comments are in strong and bold letters! these are not my personal comments, infact some i don even relate to..like shoe shopping n stuff.. but yea 'i' here represents women as stereotyped to be as such!( i am not so.. but whats-ur-problem-even-if-i-am kinds!) :) and the 'u' here truly represents men who follow these rules.. if ur an exception don take it to heart... else pls do.. if u have one that is!

PS: excuse me for some words here.. i jus cudnt let out the frustration without the rite words!

The Guys' Rules
---------------------------

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally! , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers. - yea they are tube lites

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. - you just complained!

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. - yea its not, shopping is another form of entertainment and it takes some maturity to kno sports is not the only form!

1. Crying is blackmail. - indifference is not human

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!- yea we already know ur tube lites, we got it at the first hint!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. - there is something called 'doin it for u' which leaves us with a 'maybe if u want to' but yea how will u understand what that means?

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. - what exactly is ur boyfriend's a**-hole for?

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. - that means i need to c a lawyer u idiot! oh yea ur slow at getting hints rite! :P

1 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. - find someone with a short term memory loss

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. - ur already acting like one here!

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. - if u think ur balding... don walk with me wen we go out! (since ur clearly shortsighted to see the extend we go to just look good for YOU !)

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one . - i jus heard u say 'm a loser'!

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. - u don have to tell it.. its apparent that ur good for nothing

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. - well sorry i love commercials, cant take my eyes off them to waste time on u!

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. - don waste the goddamn gas and my precious time for ur useless ego's sake!

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. - yea ur ignorant...so? wats ur point?

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that. - very much! we will fart wen u want us to tip toe like a delicate darling in that high heels to ur friends party...

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. - exactly y it wasn't worth tellin u wat was rong either!

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear - y do u answer where u don have to... shameless?

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really. - watever makes u think m dressin up for u? don u c the million other eyes on me! :P (so u do kno it and want it rite... y r u in complete denial?)

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,or golf. - don marry me unless ur ready to go shopping for shoes everyday! :P

1. You have enough clothes. - u watch enough tv!

1. You have too many shoes - how come u noticed? i thought u have better work!

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! - thats a good one... flicked from somewhere.. get real! don cry after i leave...

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight - one thing i accept :) but y just tonite? remember? we dont have short term memory loss!

i always considered women a mystery, men are so open and easy to understand! i jus cant get along with gals and they unanimously hate me i dono y! but i so wish i was a guy so i can fall in love with a gal madly... i think she'll be truly worth it physically and emotionally and morally....

Disclaimer: Like i said none of these are my personal things, its jus to get bak at this email forward i used to get... as lucky that i am.. i ve got a guy who is too broadminded and loving to be sterotyped into any of this... i had to say this cos my wedding is around u ppl shudnt take this personally! A guy with such an attitude wouldnt even be my last choice :)

Outta the Blue...

Beep Beep

Busy?

Beep Beep

What will a single woman be busy with at this time in the nite?

Beep Beep

(Absolutely outa the blue) Do you think Indian women are less Virile?

Beep Beep

Duh wat? (bad vocab for a copywriter i kno i kno :))

Beep Beep

... are they less horny?

Beep Beep

whatever makes you think so?

Beep Beep

It's just a general opinion

Beep Beep

I dont think so and its too huge an issue to be generalised so easily!

Beep Beep

I am not generalising but it jus seems so

Beep Beep

i think talkin bout sex esp by women has been considered a taboo in Indian society and that makes women shut up when they feel horny but that doesnt make them any less hornier than ur and i don think its the case anymore.. infact women are becomin too open about their sexuality these days much beyond men do..don u watch movies.. y r u thinkin so conservative.. wat makes u think so.. i think ur judgin on the basis of someone u kno? Do you think its good that they are less horny or do u have a prob with it? and what is rong if they are.. its not that they are.. but i strongly feel that u need to wake up to the present... times have changed and u have to agree... Ding! SMS limit reached

Trin Trin Trin

Me: Hello?

snakecharmer: Wow u actually picked up a call? Are you ok? why do u get so tensed for this?

Me: i am not a 'fone' person u kno...fone calls make me feel weird! i can yap away in person ...or am better on sms or even better online! i've already started bloggin bout this in my head!

snakecharmer: Man i wudnt write such a thing in my blog...

Me: There u go... so ur less hornier than i thought eh!

snakecharmer: Cme'on Sans... my parents'll read my blog.. my cousins will.. my bro will!

Me: So what.. so does my mother.. so will my MIL soon! What else is bloggin there for.. and how do to expect ppl to be interested in ur blog otherwise?

snakecharmer: hmm...why dont you write on how not to flirt with women? i'm sure u've met numerous guys who've hit on u having absolutely no idea how to do it!

Me: i cant write on a given topic! i suck at it!

snakecharmer: Trust me Sans .. u'll write very well on it and it'll be an instant hit!

Me: silent

snakecharmer: How about this? "How to give men sleepless nights" atleast dont say u dont know how to do that!!!!

Me: yea rite!

snakecharmer: Trust me, it will make an interesting piece for ur readers... i've tasted both beauty and wine and wud say without a doubt that beauty is more intoxicating than wine...

Me: silent

snakecharmer: Man! what does a man have to do to prove himself in these situations...

Me: silent

snakecharmer: (giving up) Hmm ok I think u shud jus stick to wat u do best?

Me: and that is ...?

snakecharmer: FLIRT!

Bang!

Beep Beep

Ok now tell me ... Wassup????

What am tryin to say? well first and foremost.. i ve forgotten how to write a post! been busy.. yea u read it rite .. for a change i was busy with work.. and squeezin in time to read other blogs now and then ... and yea i've been thinkin wat to blog on but hell cudnt get anything at all.. i need a lota inspiration i see. the more happier my life's gettin the worst my words are gettin ... now i dono if i shud hope for a better life or for better words? it is a tuff decision i tell u .. knowin how much my words mean my life to me!

Anyways the above conversation raised a lot of 'whys' in my head which i thought i ll put down here since i have nothin else to write about and i dont want this blog to be forgotten until my brain resumes bak to actually writing something read-worthy, if it ever does...

So here it goes:

Why are women who speak bout their sexuality casually considered an outcast? or are they even considered so anymore?

Why is that a man who is not horny nuff incapable but a woman who is too horny a whore?

Why is SMSing/chattin and blogggin more comfortable to express views and opinions? Or is it just me?

Why do women never believe men and men always wanna prove themselves?

Why is beauty considered more intoxicating than wine? or is it not?

Why do people generalize so much? Is it impossible to not judge? i mean i am already generalising here!

Why are grown-ups scared to let out their opinion in public? Who are we hiding those public secrets from?

Why do conversations between the opposite genders always involve something that is considered not-so-appropriate to be considered interesting?

Why am i not good at anything else but flirting?

Why the hell do i care?

PS: I am having a painfully severe block, can u suggest something i am good at writing so i can refresh my blog from the next post making it read-worthy? or mayb u suggest i take this as a sign and shut down this blog for good and give you some peace eh?

A letter to my 18-year-old self

I almost forgot how it feels to write a post. I have been so much bloghopping these days (and takin care of my second baby cruly ignoring the first) that i almost din realise that its been long since i posted here.. while my lil baby here was carryin the promotion for my foodie blog with no complains :) this post has been long pending.. by which i mean really long wen i read this post 'a letter to my 18-year old self' in Ritu's blog, searched for blogs with that post and read many bloggers who have done a lot of introspection by doin this little exercise.. seriously i wanted that relief in myself i decided to tag myself on it.. but never had the time to post that...

So here it goes... (a blush jus creeped into my face... gosh wat am i turnin into :O.. ive actually lost my sense of i-don-give-a-damn writing.. ok now thats another post by itself on how subconsciously writers start writing FOR their readers.. even if they rebel not to...oh oh lost track! .... )

Dear Swarna

First of all, who the F*** do u think ur? sorry for sucha rude start, i kno am elder to u and i need to teach u how to speak with respect, hell no.. this is how ur language will grow.. as u get older.. the more life frustrates u the more fs in ur language increase invariably... but seriously who do u think ur? earth to girly! Come down to the 'real world' whre u ll be welcomed with a lot or stones and rotten eggs soon... You aint no beauty queen.. you aint no conquerer of the world.. u not gonna rule any kingdoms.. u not gonna have princes fallin outa horses to their knees to woo u...

I am sure u have learnt quite a lot in last 2 years, havent u? Rem this, Life aint one big honeymoon, dont keep fallin for romantic losers who lose their romance faster than their head.. n this attention u get.. wont last forever..u mite think guys are at ur disposal today, u will die for a word or touch of love in future.. well stop searchin for true love.. accept love wen shown to u.. too much searchin will end up in total waste of time and ur life.. in the end no use regreting hurting and losin someone who u think is the one... wen u actually grow up and realise who ur and what u need...it mite b too late to have that someone u missed! well no m not even tlkin bout the person ur callin ur bf now.. yea u ll give ur life for him today and go against the world for him .. tomo he ll mean nothin to u .. as much u wont recognise him when u see him on the same street as urs... trust me but life goes on... and if not virtually single.. u will find lonliness and the feelin of being unloved ur company for life ... get used to it .. well u wont even kno wat i mean now.. hmm i think i wud jus say enjoy the love and attention that u get an overdose of to the jealousy of others.. u ll soon b a loser for life...

n hey don worry about studyin in a school for a college .. u ll soon enjoy the best college days of anyones life ...u will actually have real 'friends' in life!.. how does it feel to be at the peak of a hill and the hit the valley.. yes get ready for the best 2 yrs of ur life and then hit rock bottom.. i wish u don make the rong decisions u do.. but then eveything happens for good and i can only say don lose hope and never HATE anyone no mtter wat... n if u hurt someone ... don regret too late..wat goes around comes around .. n b ready for it.. u f***in deserve it.. well life's not a big honeymoon honey m tellin u yet again..there r no fairy tales or happy endings.. not everyone understds ur language of love.. do not overrate it...do not overlong for it... stop trusting ur mom on unconditional love .. its not true.. u don get it.. u cant give it without being taken for granted and fooled.. somehow it works only with moms..

Learn to sleep! whatever trbl u mite face.. b independant.. u gonna have a lota trbl due to not learning these two things .. emotional dependancy is not something to b proud of.. jus cos ur not financially dependant... dependancy is a syndrome.. (on substance or people) ..a disease u ll b treated for.. and yea dreams....if u think thts wat makes ur life go on.. then stop living rite away cos not all dreams come true (infact u ll come to a stage u ll forget how it feels to dream).. STOP DREAMING! GET REAL! No u will not have that dream house by the beach ur dreamin of, but u wont even have a house of ur own.. oh well first of all u shud have a life of ur own..hehe.. u dono wat the opposite of freedom is today.. u ve been brght up oh-so-broadminded and free of any restrictions.. wonderin how it ll b if u don have the basic freedom to live life the way u want to? oh man! and get ready for some dark days.. accidents.. a lot of heart breaks..and i mean a lot of! No u have no idea wat that means now.. well u ll have ur share of everything...in the end it is fun m tellin u.. how many times do u think u ll flirt with death? take a guess? m i scarin u too much? ... duh! i think u shud b happy that ur life ll b a lot eventful than ur plannin it to b...

Do not take what u learnt from ur relationship to the next.. its not the same always.. Don lose ur friends u can never ever get em bak.. don break relationships easily it can never ever patch bak like it used to be.. gettin it bak is like stickin a glass together.. if u kno wat i mean.. Stop over reacting to things.. stop havin opinons there'll b a time they wont count nemore..and if u don have the strength to stand for wat u rebel against,.,.. freakin shut up.. don keep cribbing bout it.. n hey u WILL lose all ur energy to rebel against anything in life.. trust me U WILL SUCCUMB.. u'll be jus another gal compriomising her values for normal life (which as far as i kno u've not had until 2008, yes u will believe to have it in future) .. u ll b JUST ANOTHER PERSON.. nothin special..nothin unique.. jus anther hypocrite living in the face of earth..awww! whats that look on ur face.. kinda familiar to me..hmm... do u feel like hittin me with a brick? hate me? face it! I am YOU in a few years from now on :)..

Since u beg me i tell u some good things i can think of.. hmm .. hmm.. i think ur overrating love and the goodness of giving love unconditionally will pay off someday .. don give it up .. m sure u wont even if ur beaten out to hell.. being the loser tht ur... well somewhere down my heart.. i believe in it sweetheart .. oh oh.. lets delete these lines... oh yea one more good thing of ur unrestrained galivanting around the city n eating in every nook and corner will pay off.... wonderin how? anythin done with passion gives good results trust me n love ur city that u hate now.. u gonna do it by default soon and the city will love u bak nuff for it.. n u wont believe this if i tell u .. but after all the shit u ve been thro and lost hope on ur career and talent (there'll be a point wen u think mayb ppl r rite.. if ur a good student.. u need to be a doc or engineer.. haha!) .. U WILL BECOME A WRITER! ok fine dont believe me :P dumb gal...!!!! (do i see a smile? :P)

But hey since i do love u as a child i would like to give some advice to ...i ll tell u one secret u need to kno to hold on to ur life strongly..which u will lauf at me now for.... u mite hate ur bro .. u mite think ur moms a nobody.. but if u will have something to live for in future... it will be.. YOUR FAMILY.. nothin else is urs.... u ll kno it pretty soon...

PS: Get over ur dad.. that could be the first step u can do to fix ur life.. u will never be able to fill his space and thats the freakin truth ..

Your's truly
Sansmerci (No u dint change ur name in the Gazette, its jus an evolved form of ur f***ed up head)

Alrite! Uff! Does it feel gr8 to get bak to my kinda writing? Yes it does.. rem those days wen i jus write the flow of my head without thinkin who's readin and what ll they think..but now that i ve a diff circle of blog friends.. acutally everyone from every age and class and attitude.. i dono what me and my blogs becomin.. i cud write more freely wen i wasnt judged...well this time i realised i shud b myself and this one place i got where i can use as a friend wen m down and happy... Oh! thinkin of happy.. Yes i do have somethin to share wth everyone ... but hey not in this ugly post .. lets save it for the next one!

Disclaimer: This post was not meant to hurt anyone or blame anyone for my life.. its purely a letter to myself about the many mistakes 'I' and only 'I' have committed in life and the lessons learnt thro these yrs thro many events and many ppl and many phases ..

Now for ppl who want to introspect.. i wud so love to read what each of u have to say to ur 18-year old self.. do u dare to take it up?

Every Hero is a Superhero

Here’s an age-old subject which has been discussed over n over again but no one seems to come to a conclusion cos’ everyone has their own opinion on it.

But one of my friends wanted me to write about this on my blog, as he was very worried about what’s happening to the world. He is the kind to take the first step to change the world. Maybe he will one day! We will call him ‘KOLI’ for our reference here, since he does not like unnecessary publicity, which will interfere in his superhero acts and he mite get exiled (watch ‘Incredibles’ for more info).

FYI: He is also known to have a Split Personality named 'GOLI'!

KOLI says: Men and women are not treated equal in this world! Why is that men are always measured with the amount for their bank balance and women are measured with their beauty. Why do women fall for men with money and men fall for the looks? If Amitabh can romance with Jiah khan, why cant Shahid Kapur romance with Jaya Bachchan? Why are people so shallow and cant see women as nothing beyond entertainment material? Why can’t these rules be broken? This is unfair; it’s ridiculous I SAY! We have to do something about this …

And KOLI runs around screaming: Why God but Why???????????????

I had to get outa the scene before he turned into GOLI.
But KOLI, here is what I think bout this ….

MY OPINION is that everything was planned out well in the olden days. Men had to work, women had to take care of the home. Probably decided on the basis that men can work hard and women are delicate physically, plus family needs mother nurturing more than the father, based on the emotional quotient. So SHE does what she is good at (emotional task) and HE does what he is good at (the physical). Today, the world has changed and women are more educated. BUT are fooling themselves in the name of so-called FREEDOM, burdening themselves with work outside and at home. Cos of this kids don’t get the love they long for or a family to mold them. Fine it’s a fast world, no use talking bout it.

But you have to agree that since men are hypocrites, women have to lose their identity today. Men cannot accept change, but want to be it. Women have changed but they can’t be it cos men wouldn’t be. If you know what I mean! Today’s guys are ready to be open-minded but only outside the house, which some straightforward girls cannot understand or act! It should be the same vice versa, but since I donno much gals I have no comments on it. Who knows it could be worse with hypocritic women. Na! Am losing track where was I …hmmm…

Yea so …due to the role reversals, you think it is not fair to judge a guy with the money he has or a woman with how she looks. Fair enough, I would say that judging by itself is not fair. But I should tell you, for a guy that’s very sweet of you to think like that. But I am not with you in this. Men and women can never be equal; they are different in every way. When a man knows a woman falls or stays with him only if he works hard and earns, he does it to keep her happy. A woman is happy when she knows she is good looking and when she is at her best. She gains the confidence to win the world, not just emotionally, but strong in every way. Haven’t you seen the ‘Fairever’ ads, 'with great beauty comes great confidence'. It is a source of motivation to keep themselves fit and admirable and yes only the need to be attractive to a guy would encourage her. So this is how the society has to work if we have to keep going on.

Now don get me wrong. I don like women being treated like entertainment either. I wouldn’t ever wear jewelry or make up unless I personally want to. But trust me, being a woman (at least physically) I know how important it is for her to feel good looking and be appreciated for it. It is only when it goes beyond healthy motivation and negative utilization, I get frustrated. You should watch the ‘Bee Movie’ to know what will happen if the chain breaks. Bees make honey, humans use it! Bees get angry and sue humans and win. No more honey for humans but what happens to the bees? They get lazy to work and since there is no more pollination the world gets dry! Nature has a cycle for a reason.

And hey lemme tell u something, not every gal falls for rich guys and not every guy falls for beauties, there are exceptions since women have become financially independent today and men have grown up to see beyond the superficial. Or so does sansmerci think …mabbe not!

Oh btw every hero is a superhero! Now i dono y i said that, i just had to bring the topic somewhere.. hehe.. but yea it is very true in Indian movies.. every hero does change the world but can we do it in reality? Hmm.. watch 'Evano Oruvan' (Tamil) starring Madhavan - quite a subject and more reality than cinema. Maybe i ll write a separate post bout it. Now coming back to our actual subject... OMG! What have i done ..

B4 we lose our super hero here .. Let's all join hands and call out loud...

Now come back KOLI … THE WORLD NEEDS YOU!

PS: On a more seirous note, my friend here really looks forward to your opinion on this subject!

I kno sounds like some kids' rhymes!

You ask me to stay and u run away
You ask me to smile and u slap my face
You want me to wait while u fool around
You need me to lean but am never heard
Came running for you and u leave my hand
While I die here alone you have a ball
Am rotting in my grave with nothing else to lose
Sick and tired, I cant breathe I fall
Heart broken death though my dreams were few
You blame me today cos I gave up on you!

(Dedicated to all the guys IN my life .... how often do i have to remind myself i am not a bloody DOORMAT!)

MAn! i feEl LikE a wOmaN !!

JUST A PASSING THOUGHT

whats this women's day for? Is it the women's way of openly declaring to their agreeing that 'its a man's world'? y isnt there a man's day? is it bcos we already celebrate APRIL 1 every yr?

Save the last dance for me

Chasin the moon i lost my shadow
as the sun is settin i c him movin away
its too late its too dark
wat was i doin tryin to fite the moon's ray
But girl now m ready to let go
do u hear ma heart singin so
I give u the best part of me
the only thing i ever had
my lost soul my dormant hope
he s too fragile too naive
handle with care love him tender
n wen i wake up gimme more of that pill
get over ma fever, m too sick of being ill
Look out then cos the hunters bak
stronger than ever, rite on track
there s a new day a fresh sunrise
but not a tear in my eyes
n i said stay strong young lady
as u watch me take home ma baby
n if u ever wonder i set him free
I kno he'd save the last dance for me

gone daddy gone ...

… n yeah I write again .. but this time I am not writing wat I think is rite or rong . I need ur opinion instead. cos I have a feelin m lost in this topic. The question is simple, how do u know he/she is the one for u? Isn’t it funny, sometimes u fall for someone head over heel, think u found ur soul mate and after the rosy days r over, the romance fades away n suddenly u feel like u don even know this person anymore or even worse to hear it from them. How wud u feel if someone u consider the love of ur life tells u mayb we shudve never been together at all? Or find someone u found a not so ur kinda guy/gal to suddenly b everythin u ever wanted. For me the grass is always greener on the other side, I always misinterpret missin something to lovin something, which cud b true but then wen u try to commit me, all I wanna do is run away and want the elusive one. Do every couple in the world stick together after the cant-take-my-eyes-off-u stage jus for the heck of it? Is marriage jus bout commitment or is there even something called love that really exists. Some ppl say they found their soul mate, if finding someone jus like u is the whole point, then y the hell do opposites attract? How long does it attract? Wat happens wen there s no more za za zsu between them.. is it fair to continue cos u promised or is it honest to move away n let them find true love.. n wats that btw? Life’s not one long honeymoon I kno that, so wat else makes a relationship work then .. how do u pin down on one person to stay with all ur life? Isn’t it scary? Jus gimme one thing which strongly decides or made u decide or u think will decide who THE ONE for u is. It doenst have to b rite or rong, its jus wat u think, enlighten me plzzz….

No means maybe Yes ....

"This looks like a job for me, so everybody jus follow me cos we need a lil controversy n it feels so empty without me" ;) … ok what do I write bout today.. No controversies. Oh yeah controversies tho its jus inside my head. This week has been too hectic for me physically and emotionally. So many things m pondering about, question ‘one’ on my mind is why is that it is so tough to say NO? I wonder if tis jus me. Trust me it is nothing to be proud of. Have u ever hated some one from the bottom of your heart? I can never hate someone even if I so badly want to, even if they hurt me so badly. Isn’t that why ppl take you for granted and walk all over you. Is being a push-over something to be mocked at or something to b pitied for? I do get angry n humiliated when m hurt and in a moment of madness I cud even kill someone, but the thing is u never know I mite fall in love with the person the very next moment. Why is my anger soooooooo temporary, it cud vanish like vapor in seconds. Even a smile can fool me. I ve learnt that loving unconditionally is what matters to live happily. Is that true? Or did my mom cheat me by making me an emotional fool today? How do u feel when ur selflessness is selfishly exploited by someone. You realize u ve been taken for a ride. Even funny when u seem to enjoy the ride!! Love is all about giving, I totally agree, I find more happiness when I give a gift than when I receive it. But how much can u give without getting in return? Is it practically possible without getting ur ego/self esteem hurt? Self-respect is something I am worried about here. I have played this game many times; someone hurts u - u still show them u care - they think ur a fool to do so - u still don hate ‘em - what do they do next? It has worked for me sometimes, I ve saved my friendship as a result. But sometimes it doesn’t work, it leaves u feeling lonly, foolish and as the biggest loser on earth.

NO means NO. I tell this to myself a hundred times, but I can never say no to anything be it good or bad. That’s one reason I can never decide. Don mistake it with planning, I plan and work towards it way ahead of time. Well at least I used to!! But taking a decision is the last thing I can do, at least in matters where I wanna satisfy everyone knowing well that I can’t. Saying ‘No’ hurts so much, the fear of hurting someone lets me hurt my self even worse. It’s kinda leading me to think of will power and addictions. I can get addicted to anything on earth so easily be it food or drink, a person or even this blogging for example. Maybe cos I cant say no to myself either. I have a voice inside my head trying to control, always telling me what’s rite n what’s wrong n when I shud stop n when I shud say NO. But as she keeps yellin 'Say NO no no no no' .. I open my mouth I say YES, wada bitch. She mocks me, laufs at me, swears at me sometimes even disappears sayin ‘u do what u do, don come cryin to me’. Hey common she cant say 'no' either, she lets me get hurt when she knows it n still doesn’t hate someone who deserves to b hated. Sometimes it’s a mistake to learn to c the good side of people, to take everything as a learning experience n to believe strongly that everything happens for good. As I grow up life is reversing everything I learnt as a child from hard work to honesty. I strongly believe hard work can work miracles in every aspect of life, be it ur research or ur relationship. But the harder I work the lesser the result, n the harder I try not to get de-motivated, the lesser life helps me in it. Well back in school, I learnt to use language correctly so that ppl can understand; as I grew up I learnt to use it not-so-correctly so that I can blend in the crowd. What do u do when life is teaching u all the wrong lessons? How do u save urself n follow the principles that u believe in, when everything n everyone around u strongly suggest that u change or u gonna remain a lonly fool in this smart n shrewd world!! I can only let these two ppl inside me fite n as always leave me confused n useless …

PS: I did a spell check n tried to make most words look like English! MS Word is still spitting on me with red n green lines … my apologies...

Not man enuff for me

I donno how controversial this topic wud b .. but jus penning down wats going on in my head today. Men! Something I ve never thought bout, at least its never been a mystery to me. In the contrary women were always mysterious to me, what a tomboy I sound like. Somehow mosta my friends have been guys if not all, almost all of ‘em. But today, for the first time m thinking bout men, rather certain kinda men, who don seem so man nuff to me. I know 99 perc ppl reading this r men, no offense to anyone but a few. I m not trying to sound feminist here cos I have never related myself to the female society, but hey! we r living in the 21^st century n I was assuming that the world is now changed from what is portrayed on TV/cinema. I can’t believe there r still men who can’t c their women beyond the bedroom and kitchen. Talk about equality and crap, how can women ask for equality, I really m not for it, men n women r not equal they can never b. They are each stronger and weaker in different aspects. As I always say freedom is what others give u but independence is wat u give urself. I think today’s women r dumb in this context. Men r getting smarter now they can use women not jus as sex/cookin machine but also as money venders. All in the name of equality. Ok I lost the sequence somewr.. oh yeah men .. y do they get so intimidated by women who have a mind of their own? Wat is it that a guy looks for in his gf tht he doesn’t wanna c in his wife? Same men who worship women as goddess for their sexuality disrespect their emotional needs. Being emotional is not a weakness, well I am emotional, I feel love, I feel hatred, jealousy anger nostalgic... I fall in n outa love... I wanna cry when m down and party wen m happy, I hate it when guys try to stop me from releasing my emotions, which has happened with every guy I ve known, m human n it’s my birth rite to have feelings. There r guys who respect women no doubt bout it, but how broadminded r they? What do they consider broadminded? The so called unconventional bfs/husbands still cannot c beyond their stereotypical view of a modern day women. Stereotypical women who dono wat they want, giving too much of themselves in the name of love? Commitment? Or whatever... I wud def blame our Indian media esp. movies for establishing a very shallow view in the minds of ppl on issues like love, marriage, emotions. Also it is always black or white characters that are portrayed, while I strongly believe that every human, be it man or woman is grey, a mixture of good n bad. Media is the primary teacher today; most Indian girls believe the sole purpose of being in love is to get married while a typical Indian guy believes the sole purpose is to get laid. Result being loss of a beautiful emotion that every person feels/shud feel in his/her life. I wud rather live-in with a guy who loves/trusts me n vice versa all ma life than get married to someone I don’t. Why is it that a man cant take it when his women is smarter than him or handle women who r offbeat ... y does he have a bad reflex to such women… from what my closest friends have told me they love to hang out with such women while have a life with dumb insecured girls who wud fool themselves knowing that he is fooling around?.. Too complicated.. Well I don really care. Is being indifferent is what makes a man? Reminds me of this movie called ‘FIRE’, maybe better known for other reasons, but I loved Nandita Das’ character in it. A perfect Indian women, independent but not westernized, knows how to live her life to the fullest beyond all barriers. I highly recommend u ppl u read this book called ‘men r from mars women r from venus’ least I can say is , it opened my eyes. I guess a man needs to b strong in everything he has to b while letting the women b what she can b... respect her for what she can be. Not a man who sinks in self-pity n complex, not a man whose intimidated by a better woman (who can think beyond conventions and laid out traditions/rules), not a man who’s proud to be indifferent, not a man who defines who a ‘good girl’ is, not a man who judges, not jus some man… a real man .. Who knows how to treat his lady rite… u maybe fulla love u mayb way ahead of time.. u maybe the rite kind what typically ‘women’ look for .. The question is r u MAN enuff for me? …